Je T'aime

"So who's up for a game of 'bullshit'?"

Go and sulk about how misfortunate life is for you,
That no one else' pain compares.
Cry about how everybody is there for you,
And you blindly push them away.
Be ignorant.
Be distant.
Be selfish.

I'm sick of your shit.
________________________________


What a great way to end the year!
I won't be writing anymore blogs for this year,
I have no Internet at home and I'll be away to spend some time with my dad overseas.
I'll respond to emails, messages and MS comments as soon as I get my hands on some juicy net connection.
Until next year, have a gold Christmas and a beautiful New Year.
Love you, love Bonez.

Update : 19 December, 3:02pm
I'm currently at the Sydenham library and it won't let me access my MySpace. Well it allowed me to login and everything, I'm just denied access to the home/main page because it contains 'inappropriate material'. Or some jiggy like that, like double-yew-tee-eff err duh totally! And responding to 378 emails is going to take a while. I only have 32 minutes and 19 seconds remaining on this computer. Shoot.
Just 4 more days to go!

In A Chicken Coop

I worked for 9 hours today. Double (more than double) the time I normally work. Heck, it was intense.

I was at my dad's childhood family friend's daughter's birthday party today, all the way in friggin' Hoppers Crossing. It was surprising to see PK, Thomas and Jomari.
Played Rockband until our wrist and voices hurt.
______________________________

14 Dec: Retrostar's huge warehouse sale
17 Dec: Southbank with Gene
19 Dec: Jake's house
20 Dec: Luke's house
23 Dec: Flying to Singapore
25 Dec: Christmas with dad
26 Dec: Shopping with Eunice
27 Dec: Sentosa Island/beach
28 Dec: Flying to Malaysia
30 Dec: Flying back to Singapore
31 Dec: New Years Eve in the city
1 Jan: New Years with dad
2 Jan: Flying back to Melb.
3 Jan: Rosaire's 18th

Away From Keyboard

I have no Internet at the moment, so I'm posting entries via my phone.
Or I might not post any in the meanwhile.

Does anyone have any good movie suggestions? Or TV shows?
Someone told me The Office was good. Thanks in advance!
I'm so tired.

Pebbles The Size Of Boulders

Sometimes, we can be the most cruelest of people.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed, and down on your knees. And for a moment there, you can hardly breathe. Wondering 'Was he really here? Was he standing in my room?'

_________________________

It is Saturday, 6:47pm.
He greets me with open arms. Swinging around his cold bottle of Victoria Bitter, with that same, old, triumphant smile on his face. He jumps around in only excitement he knows; excitement and happiness in which we will never understand from his point of view. His black-coloured, bowl-cut hairstyle bobs up and down like the jellyfish you see, floating by on a sunny afternoon by the local beach. It makes you wonder, sometimes, if his glasses ever fall off from all the joy that contains him. You will never see him without a pair of specs. He hasn't changed one bit from grade prep. Watching him will make you want to smile, to laugh. But do we really know what goes on in his head?

It started with those boys throwing red and white pebbles at him.
I didn't see him for a while afterwards.

It is early Sunday, 12:04am.
He doesn't greet me at all. Looking into his dead, cold eyes... Life had left him completely. He wasn't there, however, he stood like the living dead. I wondered deeply, when he'll return. Tears welled up before his black irises, and smells of burning flesh came from his tea-towel covered arm. His hair bounced no more than a speared and mutilated jellyfish, half-buried in the sand on a hot evening by the local beach. The left lense of his glasses were chipped; I tried hard not to think about what could have possibly happened. He's changed completely from the boy I knew 5 hours and 17 minutes ago; watching him seemed impossible to do. Sympathy will never be able to level, and, we will never know what goes on in his head.

(No song)

Numb

Sometimes I wish... That you could see into my mind, and feel everything that I feel. Maybe then, you'll understand.

Tears don't flow from my eyes, I've now forgotten the feel of butterflies in my stomach. I can walk past a group of boys without looking twice, and I dress-up nicely for no one but myself. I can walk tall, without any sense of vulnerability in each stride and glance. I love the fact that I don't stand out. I love the fact that... I feel free.

__________________________

It is Sunday morning, 11:34am.
Her mind awakes. Thoughts of the night before squirm, ache, cry in her head. She doesn't want to wake up, she can't. Her stomach sets off a vibrating alarm, crying out to be fed. She slowly opens her eyes as the morning sun pierces through her eye lids, creating a bright orange colour. The mascara has clamped both her top and bottom eyelashes together. Tears from the night before must have softened the mascara from her eyes; creating a bond, unwanting to break. She carefully rubs her eyes, breaking the mascara bond; the daylight grows brighter.

Her muscles ache, sending messages to the brain saying, "Moving is painful! Beware!" But she ignores it. Joints crack and snap as she tries to sit up. She props herself up, using only both her elbows as a jack; her neck feels worst. She removes the china-patterned quilt from her legs, revealing wounds and bruises. The sun suddenly feels hotter on her battered legs.

She turns to the edge of the bed, and struggles to stand. A mirror is there.
She takes a good, hard look at herself and the man lying in the same bed. She weeps.
It is the night before, 10:49pm.

Oh! You Pretty Things by Au Revoir Simone

Hold Me, Hold Me. If I Were To...

Last night... Was the best night of my life.

Gez: "BBBOOONNNEEEZZZ"
Bonez: "Gez yo!- Woah snap! You're gone as."
Gez: "I kknnooww, I needa hug. Gimme a hug. Come over here sunshine"
Bonez: "Barf on me and die."
(Intense hugging)
Bonez: "..."
Gez: (drunk moan)
Bonez: "Uh, I can feel your boner on my leg."
Gez: "BONEZ... I LOVE YOU." (falls on floor and cries)
And all he had was half a can of Jim Beam.

- Shared pretty much everything with everyone.
-- Everything such as smokes and alcohol.
-- Everyone as in even people I've just met.
- Realised I disliked sugar drinks.
- Realised I preferred bitter drinks.
- Binged on cheese and crackers.
- Ran into the glass sliding doors and bruised my knee.
- Ate "chocolate rocks".
- Made out with birthday girl.
- Met people I'll remember for life.
- There were probably much more, but I forgot.

Why did I like the party so much? Because it was the one place where no one criticised me for what I did.

Dubbo: "What's wrong?"
Bonez: "I punched his left cheek and he went the opposite way!"

Name one perso​n who made you smile​ yeste​rday? ​You-genie in a Klay bottle (Eugene)
What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Moaning about a hangover
What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Fixing up my blog
What is something that happened to you in 1994? I was a happy kid
What is the last thing you said aloud? "I'll cook some bloody meatballs for him then"
How many different things did you drink today? I drank like, a sip of water
What color is your hairbrush? Ugly orange
What was the last thing you bought? Sushi after work
What was the last gift you received? A gingerbread house from Juis
Where do you keep your change? In my wallet
What was the weather like today? It's Melbourne weather. Warm and sunny one minute, then cold and rainy the next. It's unpredictable, really
What is the best ice cream flavor? Wild strawberry and pistachio
What is something you are excited about? Flying overseas to see my dad!
When was the last rainbow you saw? Snap, that was a really long time ago
What size shoe do you wear? Size 6
Do you have a little sister? Sometimes I like to think he's my little sister
Are you very random? I don't know!
Do you want to cut your hair? I want to get dreadlocks... AND THEN SHAVE IT ALL OFF HAR HAR HAR
Do you have some bad habits? I'm a horribly messy eater
Do you talk a lot? Depends. I usually resist speaking in fear that I may say something wrong
Do you watch The OC? Mm, I've seen episodes of it when it was on television a couple of years ago
Does your screen name have an "x" in it? Nope
Do you know any Stevens? YESSIR, they're sick doods
Do you make up your own words? Yes I do
Are you ticklish? No way!
Are you typically a jealous person? Nope
Do you have plans for today? Buy another lip stud 'cause I lost mine. I spend so much money on that shit
Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "J": Jessica
Who's the 1st person on your received calls list? Dax
What did the last text message you received say? Something private
Do you chew on your straws? Yes. Like, I eat them
Do you have curly hair? Wavy-ish
What is the next concert you're going to? SOUNDWAVE WHA-WHAT!
Who is the worst person in your life? ROFL! You can't get anymore dog than this question!
How many times have you cussed today? A few... I'm trying to cut down
What is somet​hing you say a lot? 'What the fuck?' /:
Do you have work tomorrow? No, YAY
What is the last thing you ate? Salad
Is marriage in your future? Probably not, I don't like the idea
When was the last time you said "I love you"? Last night at Tee's
What should you be doing now? Watching Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire
Do you have a nickname? 'Vagina' is most common
Are you a heavy sleeper? Nope, I'm a light sleeper
When was the last time you used a skateboard? Jondael's formal after-party two weeks ago
What is the best movie you've seen in the past three weeks? Fight Club, as usual
Is there anyone you like right now? Nuuu
When was the last time you did the dishes? A while ago. I should really get back into the habit
Are you currently depressed? Nope, I'm a happy chappy
What makes you laugh? Lots of things
Where was your default picture taken? My bathroom
Do you have a best friend? Yes, and I love them to death
What is bothering you right now? I don't know, probably nothing
Have you ever cried from being mad? Ahahah yes
Do you have any enemies? Nope, and even if I did, I would love them
Did you cry today? Nope
Are you happy? Absolutely
Has anyone ever sang to you? Aha yes!
Who did you last see in person? My brother
Do you like Chinese food? Love it
Are you waiting for something? I'm waiting for something really cool to happen
Do your parents smoke pot? No way!
Want someone back in your life? Nope, not really. I've got everyone I'll ever need
Last time you cried really really hard? Like, September or before that
Do you know anyone with cancer? I think my aunty or my grandma
Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? Hide them
What kind of mood are you in? I don't know, I'm hungover and I've got an annoying headache
Is anything upsetting you right now? Headache, but apart from that, nothing
Do you smoke cigarettes? Yes, but occasionally
Do you ever think "what if" about anything? Sometimes, but I never let it get to me
Have you ever regretted anything? At one point, but I don't anymore
Do you judge people you don't know? Not at all
What is something you feel you NEED in life? God, family, friends, IKEA
What are you doing? Being a whale

__________________________

I've secretly been writing letters to you.
Letters you will never find.

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

Can't Accept

Bonez: "I just remembered... I used to like ponies when I was 7..."
Dax: "What's your point?"
Bonez: "I don't like them anymore."

Dear male,
Relationships at this age never last... Unless you're Mathew and Victoria. Such feelings don't exist to me. I'm sorry I said 'no'.
_____________________

Tee's @ 6!
Anyone Else But You by The Mouldy Peaches