Je T'aime

"So who's up for a game of 'bullshit'?"

Go and sulk about how misfortunate life is for you,
That no one else' pain compares.
Cry about how everybody is there for you,
And you blindly push them away.
Be ignorant.
Be distant.
Be selfish.

I'm sick of your shit.
________________________________


What a great way to end the year!
I won't be writing anymore blogs for this year,
I have no Internet at home and I'll be away to spend some time with my dad overseas.
I'll respond to emails, messages and MS comments as soon as I get my hands on some juicy net connection.
Until next year, have a gold Christmas and a beautiful New Year.
Love you, love Bonez.

Update : 19 December, 3:02pm
I'm currently at the Sydenham library and it won't let me access my MySpace. Well it allowed me to login and everything, I'm just denied access to the home/main page because it contains 'inappropriate material'. Or some jiggy like that, like double-yew-tee-eff err duh totally! And responding to 378 emails is going to take a while. I only have 32 minutes and 19 seconds remaining on this computer. Shoot.
Just 4 more days to go!

In A Chicken Coop

I worked for 9 hours today. Double (more than double) the time I normally work. Heck, it was intense.

I was at my dad's childhood family friend's daughter's birthday party today, all the way in friggin' Hoppers Crossing. It was surprising to see PK, Thomas and Jomari.
Played Rockband until our wrist and voices hurt.
______________________________

14 Dec: Retrostar's huge warehouse sale
17 Dec: Southbank with Gene
19 Dec: Jake's house
20 Dec: Luke's house
23 Dec: Flying to Singapore
25 Dec: Christmas with dad
26 Dec: Shopping with Eunice
27 Dec: Sentosa Island/beach
28 Dec: Flying to Malaysia
30 Dec: Flying back to Singapore
31 Dec: New Years Eve in the city
1 Jan: New Years with dad
2 Jan: Flying back to Melb.
3 Jan: Rosaire's 18th

Away From Keyboard

I have no Internet at the moment, so I'm posting entries via my phone.
Or I might not post any in the meanwhile.

Does anyone have any good movie suggestions? Or TV shows?
Someone told me The Office was good. Thanks in advance!
I'm so tired.

Pebbles The Size Of Boulders

Sometimes, we can be the most cruelest of people.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part. You roll outta bed, and down on your knees. And for a moment there, you can hardly breathe. Wondering 'Was he really here? Was he standing in my room?'

_________________________

It is Saturday, 6:47pm.
He greets me with open arms. Swinging around his cold bottle of Victoria Bitter, with that same, old, triumphant smile on his face. He jumps around in only excitement he knows; excitement and happiness in which we will never understand from his point of view. His black-coloured, bowl-cut hairstyle bobs up and down like the jellyfish you see, floating by on a sunny afternoon by the local beach. It makes you wonder, sometimes, if his glasses ever fall off from all the joy that contains him. You will never see him without a pair of specs. He hasn't changed one bit from grade prep. Watching him will make you want to smile, to laugh. But do we really know what goes on in his head?

It started with those boys throwing red and white pebbles at him.
I didn't see him for a while afterwards.

It is early Sunday, 12:04am.
He doesn't greet me at all. Looking into his dead, cold eyes... Life had left him completely. He wasn't there, however, he stood like the living dead. I wondered deeply, when he'll return. Tears welled up before his black irises, and smells of burning flesh came from his tea-towel covered arm. His hair bounced no more than a speared and mutilated jellyfish, half-buried in the sand on a hot evening by the local beach. The left lense of his glasses were chipped; I tried hard not to think about what could have possibly happened. He's changed completely from the boy I knew 5 hours and 17 minutes ago; watching him seemed impossible to do. Sympathy will never be able to level, and, we will never know what goes on in his head.

(No song)

Numb

Sometimes I wish... That you could see into my mind, and feel everything that I feel. Maybe then, you'll understand.

Tears don't flow from my eyes, I've now forgotten the feel of butterflies in my stomach. I can walk past a group of boys without looking twice, and I dress-up nicely for no one but myself. I can walk tall, without any sense of vulnerability in each stride and glance. I love the fact that I don't stand out. I love the fact that... I feel free.

__________________________

It is Sunday morning, 11:34am.
Her mind awakes. Thoughts of the night before squirm, ache, cry in her head. She doesn't want to wake up, she can't. Her stomach sets off a vibrating alarm, crying out to be fed. She slowly opens her eyes as the morning sun pierces through her eye lids, creating a bright orange colour. The mascara has clamped both her top and bottom eyelashes together. Tears from the night before must have softened the mascara from her eyes; creating a bond, unwanting to break. She carefully rubs her eyes, breaking the mascara bond; the daylight grows brighter.

Her muscles ache, sending messages to the brain saying, "Moving is painful! Beware!" But she ignores it. Joints crack and snap as she tries to sit up. She props herself up, using only both her elbows as a jack; her neck feels worst. She removes the china-patterned quilt from her legs, revealing wounds and bruises. The sun suddenly feels hotter on her battered legs.

She turns to the edge of the bed, and struggles to stand. A mirror is there.
She takes a good, hard look at herself and the man lying in the same bed. She weeps.
It is the night before, 10:49pm.

Oh! You Pretty Things by Au Revoir Simone

Hold Me, Hold Me. If I Were To...

Last night... Was the best night of my life.

Gez: "BBBOOONNNEEEZZZ"
Bonez: "Gez yo!- Woah snap! You're gone as."
Gez: "I kknnooww, I needa hug. Gimme a hug. Come over here sunshine"
Bonez: "Barf on me and die."
(Intense hugging)
Bonez: "..."
Gez: (drunk moan)
Bonez: "Uh, I can feel your boner on my leg."
Gez: "BONEZ... I LOVE YOU." (falls on floor and cries)
And all he had was half a can of Jim Beam.

- Shared pretty much everything with everyone.
-- Everything such as smokes and alcohol.
-- Everyone as in even people I've just met.
- Realised I disliked sugar drinks.
- Realised I preferred bitter drinks.
- Binged on cheese and crackers.
- Ran into the glass sliding doors and bruised my knee.
- Ate "chocolate rocks".
- Made out with birthday girl.
- Met people I'll remember for life.
- There were probably much more, but I forgot.

Why did I like the party so much? Because it was the one place where no one criticised me for what I did.

Dubbo: "What's wrong?"
Bonez: "I punched his left cheek and he went the opposite way!"

Name one perso​n who made you smile​ yeste​rday? ​You-genie in a Klay bottle (Eugene)
What were you doing at 8:00 this morning? Moaning about a hangover
What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Fixing up my blog
What is something that happened to you in 1994? I was a happy kid
What is the last thing you said aloud? "I'll cook some bloody meatballs for him then"
How many different things did you drink today? I drank like, a sip of water
What color is your hairbrush? Ugly orange
What was the last thing you bought? Sushi after work
What was the last gift you received? A gingerbread house from Juis
Where do you keep your change? In my wallet
What was the weather like today? It's Melbourne weather. Warm and sunny one minute, then cold and rainy the next. It's unpredictable, really
What is the best ice cream flavor? Wild strawberry and pistachio
What is something you are excited about? Flying overseas to see my dad!
When was the last rainbow you saw? Snap, that was a really long time ago
What size shoe do you wear? Size 6
Do you have a little sister? Sometimes I like to think he's my little sister
Are you very random? I don't know!
Do you want to cut your hair? I want to get dreadlocks... AND THEN SHAVE IT ALL OFF HAR HAR HAR
Do you have some bad habits? I'm a horribly messy eater
Do you talk a lot? Depends. I usually resist speaking in fear that I may say something wrong
Do you watch The OC? Mm, I've seen episodes of it when it was on television a couple of years ago
Does your screen name have an "x" in it? Nope
Do you know any Stevens? YESSIR, they're sick doods
Do you make up your own words? Yes I do
Are you ticklish? No way!
Are you typically a jealous person? Nope
Do you have plans for today? Buy another lip stud 'cause I lost mine. I spend so much money on that shit
Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "J": Jessica
Who's the 1st person on your received calls list? Dax
What did the last text message you received say? Something private
Do you chew on your straws? Yes. Like, I eat them
Do you have curly hair? Wavy-ish
What is the next concert you're going to? SOUNDWAVE WHA-WHAT!
Who is the worst person in your life? ROFL! You can't get anymore dog than this question!
How many times have you cussed today? A few... I'm trying to cut down
What is somet​hing you say a lot? 'What the fuck?' /:
Do you have work tomorrow? No, YAY
What is the last thing you ate? Salad
Is marriage in your future? Probably not, I don't like the idea
When was the last time you said "I love you"? Last night at Tee's
What should you be doing now? Watching Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire
Do you have a nickname? 'Vagina' is most common
Are you a heavy sleeper? Nope, I'm a light sleeper
When was the last time you used a skateboard? Jondael's formal after-party two weeks ago
What is the best movie you've seen in the past three weeks? Fight Club, as usual
Is there anyone you like right now? Nuuu
When was the last time you did the dishes? A while ago. I should really get back into the habit
Are you currently depressed? Nope, I'm a happy chappy
What makes you laugh? Lots of things
Where was your default picture taken? My bathroom
Do you have a best friend? Yes, and I love them to death
What is bothering you right now? I don't know, probably nothing
Have you ever cried from being mad? Ahahah yes
Do you have any enemies? Nope, and even if I did, I would love them
Did you cry today? Nope
Are you happy? Absolutely
Has anyone ever sang to you? Aha yes!
Who did you last see in person? My brother
Do you like Chinese food? Love it
Are you waiting for something? I'm waiting for something really cool to happen
Do your parents smoke pot? No way!
Want someone back in your life? Nope, not really. I've got everyone I'll ever need
Last time you cried really really hard? Like, September or before that
Do you know anyone with cancer? I think my aunty or my grandma
Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? Hide them
What kind of mood are you in? I don't know, I'm hungover and I've got an annoying headache
Is anything upsetting you right now? Headache, but apart from that, nothing
Do you smoke cigarettes? Yes, but occasionally
Do you ever think "what if" about anything? Sometimes, but I never let it get to me
Have you ever regretted anything? At one point, but I don't anymore
Do you judge people you don't know? Not at all
What is something you feel you NEED in life? God, family, friends, IKEA
What are you doing? Being a whale

__________________________

I've secretly been writing letters to you.
Letters you will never find.

Mr. Brightside by The Killers

Can't Accept

Bonez: "I just remembered... I used to like ponies when I was 7..."
Dax: "What's your point?"
Bonez: "I don't like them anymore."

Dear male,
Relationships at this age never last... Unless you're Mathew and Victoria. Such feelings don't exist to me. I'm sorry I said 'no'.
_____________________

Tee's @ 6!
Anyone Else But You by The Mouldy Peaches

Grab Infinite Nodes Altogether

'Cause I'll kiss every scar on your body.
Flies are annoying and a half. Where in the name of Huckleberry Finn do they go during Winter? Do they hibernate like bears do? Do they migrate north like those flock of birds I see every Autumn? Can't they just stay there?

"Now we can play games from Blockbuster!"
It's a parody of the N64 kid on YouTube.
And I thought I was bad...

[Marla McGee & Joe Bloggs]
Joe: "Marla darling, why won't you say 'yes'?"
Marla: "I don't believe in love no more Joey. It's over, it's done."
Joe: "Honey, I learnt my lesson. I'll do anything you wanna! I'll even go down by the hairdressers witcha and wait. I'll even walk your dog, Marla!"
Marla: "Joey, that don't mean nothin' to me. 'Cause I know you'll be dreadin' the hairdresser waitin' on me. And heck, you wanna condemn my dog to Hell!"
Joe: "Anything Marla..."
Marla: "No. I'm happy... I'm free."

This conversation with Joe and Marla kinda sidetracked from their actual story. They even have deep Southern accents... Which they're not meant to have... I was thinking of Walk The Line when I was typing this.

__________________________

Mum promised to take us to Video Ezy later. I'm so excited!
I'm going to borrow Harry Potter movies, and I'll watch them over and over again. I'll also be borrowing Fight Club, and some gore/horror movie.
I really want to watch Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist.

Last day of school. It was so hot.
I feel weak, powerless... Used.

Aubrey by Bread

Rhianon-Sarah

Arrives at Melbourne Airport in approximately 3 hours and 8 minutes. I look forward to seeing her again.
♥

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

She's beautiful

and she doesn't even know it.
Love you, love Bonez.

Disaster Movie

Bonez: "..."
Rock: "..."
Bonez: "Can you, for one day, just stop making me smile?"

We're going down, down in an earlier round; and Sugar, we're going down swinging. I'll be your number one with a bullet; a loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
______________________________

Twilight movie. Nope, don't stop reading there. Keep going.
It was good, better than I expected. Although there were so many girls concentrated in that one area of Highpoint. I have never seen so many girls in my entire life. I could honestly say that I was truly scared. My friends and I were lining up, awaiting access into the glorious cinema. They were in a frenzy, a crazy trance more-like. I stood behind them, not fully understanding their squeals of horrified excitement. Sure, I was looking forward to the movie... Just not as much as they were. So I stood there and waited patiently.

My friends are pretty crazy and immature. But I love them for that. So you can imagine how supersonic their screams went when the line began to move. However, there was this young woman waiting in line behind us with her boyfriend... Criticising my friends. "Ugh, stupid tweenagers. Ugh, they should learn how to shut up!" and "Ugh, I knew this was a bad idea. Ugh darl, I feel sorry for you. Ugh this, ugh that."

I wanted to turn around, punch her in the face and state that;
"Number one, these are my friends you're talking about.
Number two, we are not "TWEENAGERS".
And numero troi, if you don't like it; LEAVE, GIVE YOUR TICKETS TO SOMEONE ELSE AND GO HOME AND DOWNLOAD IT."
But I held it in and gave her a look. Her boyfriend didn't seem reply to any of the nasty remarks she said. He simply sighed and nodded his head.

So once we got in, we ended up waiting for the movie for one hour. Halfway through the movie, DURING ONE OF THE GOOD PARTS, the film caught on fire. Like literally burned out. There was chaos and absolute madness in the cinema for 20 minutes.

Rocky jynxed us.

_________________________

I have homework to do. And I hate, hate, hate it when people think you're an Asian who struggles with understanding English... So they talk to you really slowly.
Yen's leaving for the Phils. tomorrow morning.
My holidays are going to be rrreeeaaalll boring now. I miss you!

Shadows by The Getaway Plan

Brimful Of Asha

You could be happy, and I won't know...

I uploaded a photo of my vulgar face. Sa-weeet.
So today I spent 2/3rd's of my school day at the Melton campus for my People & Power History and IT App. classes. I have never been in a place so big in my entire life. You could speed-walk around the smallest garden in 20 minutes. It's a great place for hide-and-seek, though it wouldn't be so great when you realise 5 hours have passed and you still haven't found anyone.

Well to the point, after People & Power History, my friends and I decided to check out the planet-sized campus. I've been at the school for 4 years and I still don't know where the toilet is, on the Melton campus. (Compared to my campus, pft, my campus is smaller than the average garage). The group and I walked around, (side note: recess goes for half an hour), and we decided to take a break because we were growing tired from walking from destination X to destination Y. Taking note that Jake was the only male, outnumbered by 4 other females in the group. He decided to challenge us to a game of 'Mercy'.

Check out http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mercy if you're unsure about what 'Mercy' is. I love Urbandictionary.com

Morgan and Emily decided not to participate, reason being that their maturity level is far higher than ours. So Anastasia and I were left to the challenge. Ana was first, and called out 'mercy' after the a few painful arm twists.

However, I called out 'mercy' several times and his response was "WOW! You're double-jointed!" and kept twisting further. Sick man. As a result to the brutality of his strength, he "accidentally" grazed my left index finger on the gravel road.

BR00T4L

Tomorrow are the auditions for 'Annie the Musical' at school. You can either choose singing, dancing or acting; but I guess I'll stick with singing. I was originally going to dance, but my back hasn't properly healed from the infection. So it tingles pain when I bend and etc.

I've finally forgiven this guy in my school, whom I've held a grudge against for almost a year. And it's quite ironic to know we used to be really close friends.

My friends bought me a ticket to the 'Twilight' movie premier, and... I appreciate it. Although I cringed as I'm not the 'receiving' type. Gifts and presents aren't really my thing. It's tomorrow night, 7pm at Highpoint Shopping Centre. I admit I've read all four books in the series (all in a span of 6 days, Breaking Dawn took up 3 days of my life), and... it's a good series! However, it's not the best read I've had. I'm not Twilight-crazy, and I don't know why some people criticise it. So what if almost every teenage girl in the world has read it? Most of whom which criticise the series probably hasn't read it. Don't judge a book by its cover (no pun intended). Though, I like the fact that the 'Twilight' series is Muse-inspired. Ooohhh yyyeeeaaahhh!

Speaking of movies, I want to have another Harry Potter movie marathon. ):
I love Harry Potter.

I wrote a lot of bullcrap today.

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow!

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol

Bleeding Love

This cover almost made me cry.

"Oh fuck! Mum! I can't find my green singlet!" she cries out as she rummaged through the mountains of clothes in her room. She paused for a second and walked to the other side of her room. She stared off into space and gained mental consciousness after a few seconds. She grunted.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" she cursed as she ran down the stairs. I follow cautiously. She faces her mum, and angrily clenches her fist as if she was about to prowl and attack. "Where the fuck is it!?" she screams, "Honey, which singlet?" her mother replied timidly. "The fucking green sequined one! Stop fucking wasting my time! We're gonna be late!" I slowly sat on their dining room chair in the next room. The wall between the horrifying conversation and I, did nothing to soften her harsh, screaming voice. "It's in your cabinet, hon-"

"What the fuck is a cabinet!? It's called a fucking closet you dumb slut!" she interrupted her mother in a now-shrieking voice. I buried my face into my hands and wondered, what did she ever do to deserve this?

This experience was more terrifying than awkward.

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Ok, so plans for Blogger-abstinence failed; I'm back on.
I had a blood-nose in the shower today. It was weird and convenient at the same time. However the blood kept blending in with toothpaste-froth while I was brushing my teeth. Yes, I brush my teeth in the shower.