Impervious

I don't care who you're flirting on or who you've been eyeing.
I don't care about the ladies who buy you drinks at the bar and clubs.
I don't care if you're stiffing up from a hot girl you've seen at the beach.
I don't care if your lady friends call you at 2am just because.
I don't care if you're getting your gear on for cougar-hunting.
I don't care if you've been telling me that you love me and that I'm the only girl you'll only ever have your eye on... Even if it's for now because I've been there and I've believed that. I'll be nodding my head and I'll be saying "Yeah, yeah" but you'll never know that I'll always be doubting. I'm never letting my guard down, and until you can prove my doubts wrong, I will not become vulnerable to you.
Smother me in hugs and kisses and "love", I don't care.

And it's funny 'cause I guess I don't miss you right now.
ghost

And Who The Hell Was I? My, My, My

There is no such thing as cold. Cold is the absence of energy - the absence of heat.
There is no such thing as depression, only the absence of happiness.
There is no such thing as alone, only the absence of companionship.

But if I'm gone, nothing will be affected. No noticeable change.
Not even a strand missing from the web of life.
I'm too fucking sad to write anything that makes sense.

Godamnit this medication does nothing except empty my pockets.
ghost

Sexy Fresh

You've got those pretty brown eyes drivin' me wild, fresh to death, lose my breath, all those girls know ya name...

ghost

FUCK MY LIFE TO THE CORE

You'd might as well take a shit on my life you inconsiderate pricks. You all probably wouldn't even give two shits if I was found massacred and mutilated in the Deer Park tunnels.

ghost

Mista Fashionista

Things to do before 2010:

- GET WELL!
- Buy remaining Christmas gifts
- Get brows done

- Buy BDO 2010 tix of eBay ASAP!

- Save up to $200 for Jan 2010

- Pay off layby for Lee Licks at Edge (Waterg's)

- Buy glossy hot pink heels from Novo (Waterg's)

- Buy Libs', Treston's and Jay's presents

- Do half of the holiday homework (pref. methods)

- GET THE ORDERS IN FOR NEXT YEAR'S TEXTBOOKS ASAP!!

- Give Monique Thea's 1984

- Give Karl my IT 3/4 textbooks

- Make a Runescape account

ghost

Secret Letters

Secret letter #1:
Frankly, I don't know what your problem is with me but what I do know is that I would like it cleared up. Finito. This is stupid, you're walking away from our friendship and I'm getting pretty tired of trying to keep this together. I'm leaving it up to you to decide whether or not our friendship is ever going to rekindle; it's now or never. I'm leaving this door open until the end of 2009 and as soon as the clock strikes midnight, everything will be different. You know who you are.

Secret letter #2:
I miss you... That is all.

ghost

Bedridden'd Sucker

I am bedridden

I am blamed

Blamed for the natural causes of the Earth

Blamed for the lack of love in anyone's family

Blamed for bringing in bad luck to the lives of those surrounding me

Blamed for the misfortunes of others

Blamed for the "tarnishing" of the family's name

Blamed for this

Blamed for that

Blamed, blamed, blamed

I don't know how I can fix it because "sorries just aren't enough".

I tried my best, I just wanted you to love me.

ghost

It's Better If We Don't Speak At All

I've currently come down with a bad viral infection and it is really, really pissing me off. Good-bye to a healthy start to the new year.

Saturday

Both our consciousnesses begin to drift away to our own little worlds yet we still lay unmoved -side by side - with both our bodies entwined. He twitches subtly at first and I feel the pulse of his neck beat warmly on my left cheek. His quiet breathing; the air he exhales moves through my hair as if it were stroking me. He twitches much more obviously this time and wakes up in an upright position, breathing as though he'd been dragged to an open surface after drowning.

"What's wrong?" I ask gently, caressing his bare back with my hand,

"Just that dream again... Sorry" and he kisses my forehead.

We lay back down again and this time I'm the one to fall away; I don't know how long I must've been asleep. I feel his hand brush away the hair from my face and behind my ear, I crinkle my nose and I feel his soft lips against mine. I dare open my eyes, though, too afraid to look at his because that was when I began to realise that I'm really beginning to fall in love with this guy.

ghost

Love Is No Big Truth

I used to think that love was for pussies...
...And then you came along.
Then I, too, turned into a pussy,
And I have never been happier before in my life.

ghost

With You

She's the cutest thing. We spent Christmas eve drawing pictures of birds and elephants, singing Christmas songs, and playing lovely tunes on the piano.

Late-night toasted cheese sandwiches and Family Guy

I got to hear my grandma's voice today, which overwhelmed me so much that I began to cry. I love her so much, my idol and the only person I've ever learned to trust with my whole heart.

Spending Boxing Day sleeping in with the boyfriend tomorrow, shouting my whole family lunch that very same night, and performing a Boxing Day special at a local pub in Mordialloc.

I miss you.

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Can't Please Everybody

Merry Christmas everybody.

Thursday
Was quite an eventful day. The boyfriend and I spend Christmas eve together.
- Crown - eating our face off like retards at Maccas - gracefully throwing chips at each others' faces, mimicking lovely couples when they feed each other - 3D Avatar, SHIT YEAH! - raining cats and dogs "oh shit... I'm wearing thongs!" - puddle jumping with our jeans and hair dripping wet - x's in the rain - ATM machine ate his card - no way home

Friday
Was a pretty chill and laidback day. I spent 5 hours sleeping and woke up with a cold fillet-o'-fish burger in front of my face. But I do have one thing to say to that person out there, you know who you are...

If you act and say that you don't care, then why are you still tripping?

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Don't Blow Your Composure Baby

Love.
You.
I'm afraid to say it.

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So Tired Of Fighting

The funny thing about relationships is that despite being involved with someone, you're gonna end up alone in the end anyway.

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Chills

You send me chills running through my body

Shivering down my spine

Keeps me quivering for you

So happy that your mine

I'm shaken, I can't control myself cos you...

You send me chills

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Delirium, Realism

The electric blanket, the refrigerator, oxford commas, and SLR cameras;

Mankind's greatest inventions.

Cooking up an exquisite creamy mushroom and seafood pasta.

Craving some iced green tea - or oolong tea if it weren't for this warm weather.

Musically feeling Skinny Love by Bon Iver

NTS: confirm receipt of the replacement bank key card

Hates waking up before 6:30

Loves hip hop collaborations with indie acoustic (i.e., Bliss N Eso's Eye Of The Storm)

Although it's traditional to exchange gifts, it seems as though Christmas is becoming materialistic. The purpose for its celebration has lost it's meaning. To those who diss and hate on Christ and yet celebrate Christmas, I pray that the Lord forgives you for your ignorance... Sure I'll buy gifts for those in my life, but I don't want anything in return. All I ask for are your prayers, along mine, to thank the Lord for the birth of Christ.

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Angel

Thursday

I spent most of my Thursday afternoon in bed with the boyfriend; snuggling, talking, laughing, whatever. 4 hours of this until he realised he was late for work. I was fixing his bed sheets while scavenging the room for his missing shorts, and he was playing Prince Charming by putting my shoes on for me while spraying his stupid cologne on me cos I apparently "smell(ed) like shit".

He was already late and insisted me to teach him some dance moves and as stubborn as he was, he wouldn't leave unless I taught him. We were arguing about this for a good 10 minutes until I gave in and taught him how to do the rhumba. We left his room to drive off to our next destination but then realised his dad had taken his car for a spin to the shops. Waiting to kill the time, we were giving each other piggybacks and what-not until his dad returned and insisted on having me over for lunchinner with the family. Already late, we had to leave even though I felt rude by not accepting. He drifted corners in the rain and dropped me off at the train station.

I wish I spent every Thursday doing this.

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Birds Of Tokyo

These butterflies won't quit buzzing and I can't fall asleep,
It's 'cause they know it's a matter of hours until I see you again.

Gobbledigook - Sigur Rós
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Ecstasy

Can't hold it back, you know I'm so addicted to you
Cravings attack whenever I get closer to you
I'm in withdrawl whenever you're away
I just want you here with me boy
Let's take a ride, I'll show you all the avenues
Hop in my coupe, I only got a room for two
Let's just explore and my only destination is you
I'll tell you what I want to do baby...

One more sleep...
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Daydreamin'

Cupid shot me

In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can't do.
Now you're in New York,
These streets will make you feel brand new,
Big lights will inspire you.
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York...

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Empire State Of Mind

To the sucker who locked himself in the back boot of his own car and threw me the keys while yelling out "Drive!" with the biggest grin on his face...

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The Ugly Truth

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You The Best I Ever Had

I think I've just fallen unconditionally and irrevocably in love in a song.

While you are away, my heart comes undone
Slowly unravels in a ball of yarn,
The devil collects it with a grin,
Our love in a ball of yarn; he'll never return it.
So when you come back, we'll have to make new love.
- Unravel by Björk
_________________________________

"Pretend that... You are like a plate of expensive china. You're beautiful and priceless in every way, but, you've slipped right through her fingers and you've been shattered into countless pieces. So here I am, trying to superglue you back together as best I could, but you'll never be the same."

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See, I Had It All, But It Doesn't Mean Anything...

Tonight was the longest night, ever.
Whoever said that "nobody changes overnight" has yet to experience life.
I'm too afraid to let you into my life.
I have so much to write but so little time.
I never meant to hurt anyone.
Modesty is the best policy; it's best to keep my mouth shut.
I promise to nourish and lovingly maintain this faith-driven life.
My mind is all over the place.
My love is all over the place.

To avoid pain, avoid love.

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Night Terror

It was by far the worst nightmare I have ever had.

Nobody died, not one living body suffered;

And the boogeyman made no appearance;

I didn't fall or jump off any roaring, high cliffs;

And I was not alone...

It was your voice which I heard that sent me into traumatic fits of sorrow and despair.

I'm too afraid to sleep in fear of hearing that sweet, gentle voice of yours.

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It's Sucha Heavenly Way To Die

Quietly I stir in my sleep and listen to the machine of my laptop hum and buzz in the darkness of my room, with artificial light blindly illuminating and emitting from the screen. That familiar MSN tone alerts me and I stir some more. I groan and grunt, and the more I grunt and groan, the faster the tone alerts. That stupid chime rings not only from the speakers of the laptop, but it painfully tickles my brain.
Tickle. Tickle. Scratch.
“do u mind if i call u now?”
Yes, I do mind.
“plz answer....”
No.
“gee....”
...
“ok whateva im calling now”

I set my phone to silent, sincerely hoping not to hear any rings. The next morning I awake and check the number of missed calls on my phone.
0, I thought so. I didn’t even give you my number.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths
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