Amazing Grace

I am new.

'Tis the new hairdo. :)

Hallowe'en party tonight.
I went on a crazy CD-shopping-spree and bought 6 CDs for buy-2-get-1-free at $10 each at JB Hifi Watergay's. I'm astounded at the fantastic album choices.
I bought: John Mayer's Continuum,
Rage Against The Machine's The Battle of Los Angeles,
Jeff Buckley's Grace,
The Killers' Hot Fuss,
SIA's Colour The Small One,
and Kings of Leon's Because of The Times.
BUT there were a lot more that I wanted to buy like:
Nine Inch Nails' The Downward Spiral,
Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,
Pearl Jam's Rearview Mirror,
Marilyn Manson's Lest We Forget (The Best Of),
and sooooo much more. Better save up :)

I feel like whole other person.
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Taurus

Yesterday (being Friday), I made an impulsive decision to chop off a large and reasonable amount of hair.
I'm very pleased. :)

If only happiness like this lasted longer than it normally lasts with me.
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Maybe I'm Just Tired

I am scared.
I am confused.
I am alone.
I am lonely.
I am brittle.
I have your cold, skinny fingers.
They remind me of you whenever I look down at them.
I want to saw my hands off, just so I'd never have to see them again.
I am insane.
I am terrified.
I am not expecting.
I am traumatised.
I am apologetic.
I am absent-minded.
I am insomniac.
I am wilted.
I am jilted.
I am the responsibility nobody wants.
I am heartbroken.
I am not who I think I am.
I am tired.
I am everything. I am everything, all at once.

I am suffering, heavily.
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Honey, Come On Home

I am underconfident.

I will cry to my music.
Whether or not I am seated in a crowded 6 seater on a Connex train surrounded by
- 3 Pakistani men wearing matching Armani Exchange denim pants, jackets and Ferrari perfume
- an environmental business man with a receeding hairline, struggling to keep a straight face during the intensity of his mid-life crisis
- and an old Chinese woman with beautiful silver hair, lapping wrinkles and leek-and-durian-reeking plastic bags

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too observant or just too bored.

But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me just how I should feel today.

Well maybe I'm just tired, tired of never knowing.

'Cause I have found all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade.

It's throbbed for too long, I don't know what I want from you.
Keep talking cryptic love, no one will notice.
I will never want a husband to love me,
Nor will I want children to share this unconditional love with.
I don't ever want a family.
I don't ever want love.
It's just a four letter word, I don't believe it means anything.
I am a pessimist-though-try-hard-optimist dating another pessimist, just 'cause we get along like that.
"LOVE" IS FOR FOOLS THAT FALL BEHIND.

It's been way too long.
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Shimmer

She says that love is for fools that fall behind.
Shimmer by Fuel

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Ipso Facto

LookBook
The Sartorialist
Sex And Coffee

Websites that are worth your time.
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Vogue, Hendrix & Chai

Sorry about the lagging entries lately, ladies.
Been busy with multiple things, but you don't want to hear it.

I look at myself from the outside and I can't seem to figure out who I am. I am estranged from myself and that makes me wonder what goes through my mind. 'Mysterious', I think - I contemplate. I continue to linger.

I am currently eating the sour cream and chives flavoured Grain Waves chips that my best friend's mum bought for me to eat. I'm currently eating it to be polite, trying not to show her that eating anything makes me want to vomit.

I like my boyfriend, he doesn't hover.
He doesn't ask me personal questions, nor does he dwell.
Instead he makes the day happy between us; laughing to forget who we are.
We'll show the world that relationships can last without the physical and verbal affection.

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Soviet Kitsch

I am indecisive.

Album: Soviet Kitsch / artist: Regina Spektor

I began my day with the usual; wake up late, arrive to school late, come home late...r than usual time. In english we listened to some Avenue Q (a more... Explicit version of Sesame Street which deals with everyday issues such as racism, sex, etc. through musical puppets), Backstreet Boys, Aqua, the Vengaboys and the Beatles. We were all basically taking a trip down memory lane.

My point is that by listening to the Beatles made me want to buy their album after school, and so I did. I really liked the album covers of most of the Beatles' albums, but I picked the album that had my favourite song (Strawberry Fields Forever) on it: Magical Mystery Tour. I bought that, a $20 iTunes card, and all this other shit that cost me a total of $150+. The rest were necessities, I can assure you.

I got home and while listening to the new CD I bought, I took a shower, painted my toenails earth and metal colour, chillaxed, ate some ice cream and read a bit more of The Secret Life Of Bees and the free JB Hi-Fi mag called 'mag'. I swear to you that I absolutely love reading the music reviews written in this magazine and all the other feature articles. Love, love, love.

Well anyway, I spent the rest of my night legally downloading music. I'm addicted to legal downloads and I don't know if that's a normal case. They have much, much better quality than most of the shit-quality songs you illegally download. Plus, it makes you feel good about it. Oh for fuck's sake, the iTunes store is more addictive than heroin.

I don't know if I mentioned this but I love album art. I began Google-ing the album art/covers for all my albums and songs on iTunes and I got really carried away. I've been doing the whole album art thing for a while, so I decided to post up 4 of my favourites. :)

Album: Such Great Heights / artist: Iron & Wine

Album: Myths Of The Near Future / artist: Klaxons

Album: Intimacy / artist: Bloc Party

Growing more and more paranoid everyday.
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Revive

I am a party bag mix of emotions.

Today was great.
Hung out with Khoi, Lee, Mya, Jason, Kevin and some other guy in the early afternoon.
Went to MMA for Revive. Geeeeeez, there were a lot of people I knew than I had initially expected.
Saw Michael and talked for agesssssss about things we wer supposed to talk about.
I miss him tonight
Celebrated the Ellusive success in Sante at Crown.
It was truly the funniest dinner I have ever had.
One of my fave moments would have to be the ugly photoshoot with Karl. "No, no. Take another photo, it's not ugly enough!!!"
Photowhored for the rest of the night. Met Sylvia and Angela
Karnhy and Den and Angela came to chill with us.
Twas a fine night.

Act your age. I'll be a teenager if I want to.
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But Those Drugs Won't Make You Feel Better

I am torn.

Caught in between what I want to do and what I should do.

I really wish I didn't have to do this.

5 more sleeps until.

Something's obviously wrong; it's not me, it's you.

Winter has decided to play the jealousy game,

Winter is the unloved first born child.

Summer is the new born baby, the world's shiny new toy.

We've been paying too much attention to the warmer seasons.

Winter cries and cries, becoming colder and colder

Turning its tears into ice, its sorrows falter against the skin of the earth.

Short blog for today, I'm too damn sad to give a fuck.

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So Into You

I am contemplative.

YFC S.O.A.R. Camp was uplifting and gggrrreeeaaattt. I really enjoyed my time with the other fellow YFC-ers. A lot happened, but it's a good experience. I left for home on Sunday at 3pm and slept the whole way there and konked out at home until 10pm. So all in all, it was a 7 hour lion-nap.

I didn't go to school today, my parents allowed my brother and I to have a day off. The following is a series of not-so-orderly events:
+ 8:30: doctor's appointment with Dr Suma
+ Commonwealth bank (waterg's) played that game with caged space animals on the eyetoy
+ Made our way to Harbourtown as a family
+ Shopped and bought myself a pair of kicks (as pictured above)
+ Left alone to meet up with Niz at MC (I actually made my way to Bourke St until I called)
+ Called and the dickface turned out to be at fckin' Harbourtown waiting for me (LOSER MUCH?)
+ Decided to meet in Victoria St in front of MMA instead
+ I get to MMA and the putangina vagina decides to be funny by hiding in his car and not answering my calls. "Where the fuck are you?"
+ I hop into his gaymobile and go on an impulsive outing
+ First fckin' idea: Let's play CS at Cydus
+ Fully got pwned hxc mangz0rs
+ Second plan: go to Highpoint
+ We were there for like 10 minutes until he decides to go Williamstown
+ We wing our way to Williamstown and eat ice cream near the piers
+ "IIIIIIII LOVEEEEEE THIS SONG!!!!!!!" and we both badly sing to So Into You - Tamia
+ Make our way home, buttttt... he doesn't know how to get to Watergangster's from Willy OR Foots OR Sunshine
+ WE GET LOST FOR AGES "JUST KEEP GOING STRAIGHT. JUST KEEP GOING STRAIGHT!!!"
+ Finally get to a familiar road in Ardeer and we almost crash into a bus
+ We tell our life stories
+ While at the stop lights, the fob bus driver chucks a phat at Niz and full slaps his car "GO BAHK TOO SKOOL YOO DEEK-HED"
+ "I'm sorry but... I couldn't take that guy seriously"
+ We talk and D&M for ages until we reach Watergay's
+ Finally get there, say our ciao's and sayonara's
+ Met up with Morris at the library
+ Met up with Markus at his work! N'aw, and I bought two of those remote control cars off him
+ My family were at Watergee's so I hitch the ride home with them
+ Attempt to do my english expository piece on abortion
+ Currently half-way with the homework

I refuse to put up with this
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YFC S.O.A.R. Camp

I am stoked.

Photowhoring before I leave?

If I haven't posted anything up until Sunday evening, it's 'cause I'm at youth camp. YFC, YY-FC-FC!

Pslam 23 (A psalm of David)
"The Lord is my shepard, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down on green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the balley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever."

"I'm alive and I am free... But you see, I have no control over me."
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Dark Zone

I am alright.

Had work at 3:30pm, stressful shit.
I had to do Head Assistant training, ffs.
Left at 4:50 to go Dark Zone in Scumshine. Hoooo shieeeee
We played like 6 games, but I got pretty tired after the second game.
My highest was 12th out of 31 players. I was pretty pleased with myself...
...Though not compared to Jason with 1st, Karnhy on 2nd and my bro on 3rd!
Twas good fun though, I'll try to upload a coupla photoz...
...
...
...
...When I'm not capped. (L)

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