"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."
- Socrates (469-399 B.C.)
Socrates knew exactly what he was talking about, and this quote was based 469-399 years before Christ. Has nothing changed in these few thousand years?
I've been pondering about the manners and etiquettes of the 20th Century's youth of late.
It all started when I attended a funeral-type viewing of a friend's father who recently passed away. It was a Sunday night, it's Tuesday afternoon at this very moment. The venue was quite empty as we arrived, relatives and loved ones of the one who passed were seated on the front row. Crying. I felt the need to back away a little bit, give them space as others who were just arriving were smothering them with hugs and empathy. 'Cause I know that's what I'd want if someone dear passed away. I didn't want to add to the havock, so I figured I'd greet them after the crowd had died a little; no pun intended.
I sat on the back row, letting all the more forward seats fill up slowly as guests arrived. I was seated with my two friends, not including the child of the deceased. It was the corner seat, one that I'd felt was the furthermost isolated even though I was seated to a couple of my companions. After about twenty minutes or so, I felt the confidence to greet the family of the deceased at last. It was quite a surprise when they saw me approach them in open arms, not uttering a single word.
A silent gesture which speaks a thousand words.
It was the first time I'd ever been the one to greet this family without the taunt and push of my parents. I never really knew them, I only knew the relationship which conjugates them to my friend. I could see how disrespectful I've been in the past, considering how practiced I am in cultural ethics. I realised that by consciously avoiding to show respect ethically, the respect that I refused to give was refused of me too.
It's true when they say that bad habits die hard, they've been slowly and methodically flailing away through time. Overnight results were never how I was always presented with, it always took time, even considering my quick indecisiveness.
Back to the tale, I wished the deceased a respectful 'Rest In Peace' as I passed by to view the open coffin, I walked back to my seat. With my comrades tailing me. I didn't want them to follow at all. At serious moments like these, I want to be left alone in kind consideration. Nothing personal though; my thoughts don't only need the space of my brain to fill, but it needs the rest of my surroundings to suppress.
As I sat, I read a few pages from Letters From The Inside by John Marsden and realised the ceremony was about to being. Time flies by when you're engulfed by a good book. It was a while into the ceremony when I realised there was an old, little woman sleeping standing up. There were many other elders standing around, and there were so many youngsters occupying a seat. If only I had that many seats to give away to these elders. But this one lady caught my attention. She needed her husband to keep her from falling down, so I excused myself from my friends. They'd assumed that I was going to the bathroom, though I was actually on my way to ask this woman to have my seat instead.
I finally reached her, I politely gestured my hand to my now-empty seat and she immediately caught my drift. She thanked me, her husband thanked me, and that's when I turned and saw the many pairs of eyes laid on me. Eyes of not disregard, but awe. I stood behind her and watched her lay her head against the wall, falling asleep the way she did when she was on her feet. My friends laughed as they thought the old lady stole my seat, later on they were assured that the giving-up was all in favour.
It doesn't take a grand, impossible act to be respected.
All it took was respect and the balls to do it.
What I'd like to see are many more of our youth presenting respect in tiny gestures. I'm not stating that we're all ruthless and incompassionate, it's really nice to see something like that. Although the reward for it may not come in materialistic forms, the feeling is far beyond overwhelming.
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