Breaking Your Fall

My brother is starting to lie compulsively.

[Marla McGee]
He said, "Darling, meet me at Grand Central Station."
He said, "Darling, in two Saturdays - 12:45pm sharp."

-- Came two Saturdays, 4 hours and 50 minutes.

He said nothing. He did not come.

_____________________________

٭ gynaecology says:
hey Rocky
٭ gynaecology says:
I'veeeeee... gotta ask you something
. rockyy.. says:
yeah?
٭ gynaecology says:
ummmm, but first lemme ask you this question. Are you going to the deb with anyone?
٭ gynaecology says:
I think I kinda gave it away
٭ gynaecology says:
LOL
. rockyy.. says:
LOL
im not
. rockyy.. says:
:)

٭ gynaecology says:
do you... wanna go with me?
. rockyy.. says:
i was gonna go with jacinta but i dont want to
. rockyy.. says:
andd i'd love to go with you!

I'm squealing like a teenager in a Justin Timberlake concert.

_____________________________

I'm taking a break from technology for a while.

My thoughts and stories will be written in a journal for the meanwhile.

I need to get some headspace, and my mind sorted out.

Micro Cuts by Muse

Cellar Door

This fella once said to me, "I'm getting butterflies by just thinking of tomorrow."
And I replied, "I look forward to seeing you too."

[Marla McGee]
I spent the last few nights speaking to myself; rehearsing conversations we'll never have. Sometimes I think you're a dream, merely a figment of my desiring imagination; all because of our lack of communication. I've written you songs and letters which I'll never have the guts to give to you.

[Joe Bloggs]
I wonder if she ever thinks of me.
I've got no chance.

_____________________________

I feel deprived of beautiful, beautiful sleep.
Such fictional writing will be continued, stay tuned.
Heinrich Maneuver by Interpol

Only By The Night

(Dad farts extremely loud at the dinner table)
Bonez: "Effing yuck, dad, that's gross."
Dad: "Gross? GROSS? Gross income tax?"
Bonez: "..."
Dad: (goofy smiles)
Bonez: "I sometimes feel sorry for myself, you know?"
I love you dad.

My most favourite song right now: Use Somebody by Kings Of Leon

Mars And Venus

Dear female,
Here's the thing; and I'll get straight to the point. I don't find it funny when you take the piss at me. I don't think it's hilarious when you make fun of my skin colour, just because yours is a nicer tone. I don't see how it's amusing when you call me 'stupid', a 'nigga' and a 'retard'. I cringe everytime you pinpoint my flaws to every new person I meet. We've been close since day 1, 8 years ago. I love you, but you're taking it too far.

Dear male,
Yes, I do have a problem with you. Do you have a problem with that?

The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script

Confessions!?

I'm the only female in my IT Apps 3/4 class.

So to speak, Morris pronounces Nissan as NEE-S(AH)N.
And Mr. Lech called Morris, Moses.

The day was fine.

1) I get chicken nugget cravings; which defeats the whole purpose of vegetarianism.
2) My teeth ache when it gets cold.
3) I swear in the shower when my elbows whack the ceramic soap rack.
4) I sing in my bathroom (where it echoes) and pretend that I'm famous on stage.
5) I play dress-ups when everybody else is asleep.
6) I seriously used to think I was psychic, and that I was born with extraordinary powers.
7) When I was in grade 3, I went through a massive astronomy phase and I aspired to be an astronaut.
8) I used to have an obsession with death. (Holy snap, I know)
9) I planned my wedding when I was 9.
10) I used to be a tomboy.
11) I loathe receiving gifts and feel absolute guilt.
12) However, I love giving gifts and presents!
13) I used to be ultra annoying in my child-preteen days.
14) I don't notice a person until they smile/laugh.
15) I have obsessive compulsive disorder. My parents have it too.
16) I have a barcode collection of over 510 barcodes.
17) Soggy chips are my favourite.
18) I have a bad memory. So I'm sorry if I don't remember you, or certain things.
19) I'm pretty immature when it comes to fun.
20) What came first? THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?
21) Pink/peach roses are my favourites.
22) I'm very superstitious.
23) I don't believe in astrology or horoscopes. I don't let those things dictate my future.
24) I bawled my eyes out in the movie Click.
25) I love the Harry Potter movies.
26) I frequently go to the movies by myself.
27) I'm extremely self-conscious.
29) All the 'I love yous' mean something, which is why I rarely say it.
30) I have an irrational fear of superglue... And swimming.
31) I am slowly getting used to touching animals.
32) I have this really big crush on Jon Heder. (The guy who plays Napoleon Dynamite)
33) I am bi-sexual, and this does not mean that I hit on every girl there is.
34) I liked Britney Spears 10 years ago, and I like Britney Spears now.
35) I have piercings my parents don't know about.
36) I feel safe when I'm in IKEA.
37) I danced ballet for 5 years.
38) I had a girlfriend no one ever knew about. Her name was Kim.
39) I don't like talking about personal issues with other people.
40) I am currently going through an obsession with lightbulbs.
41) I tend to recycle various things and objects.
42) I fear marriage and lifelong commitment.
43) When I was 10, I told my friends I played Gollum in Lord Of The Rings 2.

Breakeven by The Script

"Hello, Old Flame."

"Please give me this opportunity to express how much I want to punch you in the face.

I find it extremely annoying when you laugh at my misfortunes.
Love, Bonez."

http://www.youtube.com/user/gradualreport

It hurts when I sleep,
IT'S STINGING ME.

A Really Stupid Post

Shopping splurge at JB Hi-Fi yesterday. It was a really bad idea.

Bought the following: (because I can tell how eager you lot are to know what items I stupidly spent my dosh on)
- Muse's Hullabaloo Concert DVD (Live at le zenith, Paris)
- Robot Chicken Season 1
- Robot Chicken Season 2
- Dario Argento's Horror Classic Collections Vol. 2
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie (2-disc collector's edition)
- GUITAR HERO WORLD TOUR! OHH YEE

It was also Monique's sixteenth party-turned-ultimate jam session.

Bonez: "Hey Glen! Ask me if you can borrow my Muse Hullabaloo concert DVD."
Glen: "Uh, ok? Um Bonez, can I borrow your Muse Hullaba-who concert DVD?"
Bonez: "No, Glen. You can't."

Ahahahahaha... Yeah.
I don't know what I'm doing here, I should be wasting my time with my Wii and TV.

Yahoo Piercings

I got my back pierced today.
If you don't know how, I'll upload an image shortly. It's really difficult to take an accurate photo of your own back.

Ok there, done. My brother took a photo for me.

So story goes:
I had my last exam (mind you it was commerce!) from 11:00am to 12:40pm. After, I went home and stood there. Bored. So I thought "WHAT KIND OF SHENANIGANS SHOULD I GET INTO TODAY?" So I thought of getting my back pierced and hopped on the bus. It was the first time Catheen (the chick who pierced me) had ever done a back surface piercing so she screwed up 3 times, and had to re-pierce it 4 times. It was fine, it stung a little, but it's ok.

She also took a photo of my back. So now, whenever you fellows drop by that 'Underground Industries' place in WaterGardens where they do piercings, look to see if you can find a photo of a back piercing 'cause... THATS MY BACK.

Received compliments.
They were nice apart from the "YOU'RE SO FREAKY-WEIRD AND CRAZY"

It feels so weird when I move my back.

Maths > Boys?

٭ % {commerce} says:
I almost cried studying for IT
٭ % {commerce} says:
LMFAO
٭ % {commerce} says:
I'm a sad
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
LMAOO why??
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
why would u do that?? my gosh ur crazyy
٭ % {commerce} says:
'cause I was really stressed
٭ % {commerce} says:
AHAHA
٭ % {commerce} says:
you know, I was doing revision for methods and I didn't get this one question about trigonometric functions, and I started crying and stressing out while I was on the phone to Darren 'cause he was helping me out and shit
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
youuu are crazyy..
٭ % {commerce} says:
I don't know, I'm a weirdo
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
my mumma says if you stress you die.
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
and u panic wayy too much
٭ % {commerce} says:
I don't cry over boys, but I cry over maths
٭ % {commerce} says:
roflll!
٭ % {commerce} says:
shit man! don't scare me
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
and like its not even important in year 10
٭ % {commerce} says:
I know but like, I really screwed up in year 8 and I wanted to like improve. Plus, it's good practice for when I hit the harder years. YA KNOW?
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
yeahh well u dont have to try hardd u retard.
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
LOL
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
id rather cry over boys LOL
- _ ʟeɑɴɴeee .. says:
at least than its normal
٭ % {commerce} says:
ROFL!

All I saw were boxes and squares.
So on the art exam read, 'Now, create your own personal quote and relate it back to art'. So I wrote, "Lines, like parabolas and linear equations, can also be seen as art."

Transition Point

New start, yes? Yes. :)

Shotgun Gunshot

Weighed down, but I'm feeling fine at the same time. I want to rip this chair into pieces, but it's too much effort. Mum tells me that there are always points in life where people leave. Either it be intentional or unintentional; I can't hang on to them, and they can't hang onto me. It's been the 7th time this year. Was it something I did? I'm still myself. And I realise that they've just met more interesting people, and I allow them to choose what they want. Regardless. I say 'It's ok if it hurts me', 'cause it's all about them being happy. I tell them I'll be here anyway, if they ever want to come back. I'm sick of making stupid sacrifices, sick of holding back. I'm sick of people playing around with my sanity. I'm not your fucking rebound, you selfish bastards.

Family's always going to be solid. Today I finished my art exam, and I have commerce tomorrow. Last exam for the year and then I get to see Jack for two weeks.

Life sucks, and then you die.

"You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake, you are the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We are all part of the same compost heap." - Fight Club

Fuck Them Cunts

You don't even fucking know me, son. Just 'cause you see an ill comment on "yo' homiez" page doesn't mean you know shit. What the fuck did I write anyway? It's not even there anymore. You treat it like it was vital shit. Fuck that. Shit, it wasn't even for you. It wasn't even anywhere near you. For fuck's sake, as if call me a 'whack bitch' over that. You don't know me. I don't care if you're 20 years old and shit. Fuck that. I've got no respect for you. No respect.

Exams & Cultural Festivities

Ever since my exams have commenced, I have been deprived of my personal time. But it's over now, well at least the stressful part (chem, IT, methods). All that's left now are the 2D art and commerce exams. Easy breezy.

I've finally been able to watch the Death Note movies, and I must say, I had fallen in love with 'L'. Nothing significant. I'm currently going through a The Cure/Red Hot Chili Peppers/Bread/Nirvana phase.

I'm in a rather placid and content mood, although my Internet connection may ruin it all for me as it continues to fail. *Maniacally shakes fist*

Lately I've been planning on what to write on my end-of-year blog regards concluding 2009. Interesting things have happened this year, and alike everyone else, I've changed. I've changed far more than I actually intended to from the start. But even though there were interesting aspects to the year, I feel as though it could be much better and enjoyable. I spent a majority of 2009 moping and sulking about for reasons unknown; living life unsociably. This was until I received a good, hard slap from reality saying, "You're in serious need of a life." Of course, I responded and made drastic changes.

Speaking of changes, there are also things I've done that I've never experienced before. I partied like never before, unintentionally participated in school tours/assemblies, took drugs, stayed clean of drugs, got drunk at a party, didn't get drunk at another party and felt overwhelmed about it, did my best in school, got 99.5% on my methods exam, smoked a bong, got facial piercings, dyed my hair, grew independent, accepted a job offer, cried my heart out, cried because I didn't understand certain question in trigonometric functions, laughed my face off, made many friends, struggled with a caffeine addiction, learned to love my family (especially my parents) unconditionally despite the long-distances, and lots more.

So moving on to cultural festivities, the annual Filipino Fiesta (Festival) is held as it usually does... Annually. Same venue, same month, same everything. Everything as in the barbeques, the bumper cars, ride simulator, the fish balls, showcases, the silly string, the water guns, celebrity appearances... It's not much different to the past years. But it still is an event where we, as a cultural community (you don't have to be Filipino to go), are able to gather and celebrate just for the sake of it. How many times a year are we able to do this? One. It's also a great opportunity to meet up with people you haven't seen in years...

Obviously, I'm waffling on about what to right. Wow, I uploaded stacks of images in this one blog. :) I guess it's to make up for the blogs I didn't upload any images for. Lame, but it makes sense to me.

Current on-the-go playlist:

- Spiderman by The Cure
- By The Way by Red Hot Chili Peppers

- Take Me To The Place I Love by Red Hot Chili Peppers

- Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson

- Tainted Love by Marilyn Manson

- Seattle by The Classic Crime

- Aubrey by Bread

- Imagine by John Lennon

- The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra

Let's seize this great opportunity,
And grab life by the balls.

FLIPPING COW, THAT'S AWESOME!

Ok, went to the eGames expo today with my brother. It was my birthday present to him. Fffrrreeeaaakkkiiinnn' aaawwweeesssooommme. Didn't know what Rocky was talking about when he told me it was boring. Good sir, learn what fun is.

So we caught the 11:09am train, and got there at who-knows-what-time because we walked from Flinders Station to the exhibition centre. Good exercise though. First and foremost, we decided to look around when we got there. Then we decided what we wanted to do after that.

We bought the following:
- Darth Vader 'Noob, I Am Your Father' t-shirt and sticker
- 'The Cake Is A Lie' sticker
- Halo trooper bobble-head
- Star Wars Stormtrooper bobble-head
- Deathnote movie limited edition DVD (I&II)
- Fruits Basket Vol. 23 (yeah, I needed it to finish my collection)
- There was probably more things, but I forgot.
It all costs so much dosh. But then again we also got soooooooo many freebies. It was like Freebie Wonderland. My brother lost count of how many times I asked people "Excuse me, is this free? *Smile smile*"

Ok, this is my most favourite photo.
I saw him from afar and I could swear I almost deafened my brother's right ear when I squealed "Is that Marcus Fenix from Gears Of War!?!?!"

Person X: "So Bonez, what did you do on the weekend?"
Bonez: "I was 1 metre away from Brian McFadden. Yeah whut!"

Aw, Rayman Rabbid kept getting picked on.
I seriously wanted to punch the stupid kid in the head.

TiVo! I actually licked it unintentionally.
It tasted like styrofoam.

This was actually the first photo I took there.
Link was alright at GH3, but he kept stuffing up
'cause he was jumping around and bustin' moves simultaneously.

And now, I'm studying hardcore for exams. I'm struggling so much and I'm getting so much pressure from family, especially. It's almost unbearable, I can't imagine next year. I'm actually on a break now, so I'm here typing this to the world.

iDEF/eGames Expo

Who's going tomorrow?

Deets: 14-16 Nov '08, Melbourne Exhibition Centre.

Since it's the last day tomorrow, it's open from 10am - 5pm.
It's a lot like last year's E3, so I'm told.

Note: If anyone knows where I can get a cheap, efficient motherboard in good condition (pref. Intel or the ASUS Rampage Formula LGA 775 Intel X48 ATX Intel Motherboard ooohhh yyyeeeaaahhh (stupid retail price is $289)) then hollaaa.

One Man Drinking Games by Mayday Parade

Demolish Your Plot For A Serenade

It has been well over a year since I've done my hand in some song-writing. These past two days have acted as a mental burden. And for what reason? Nothing. So I've decided to write it all out in song, thanks to the advice given to me by my mother.

It's just there; and the more I try to find a solution for whatever it is, it gradually worsens because I unintentionally analyse every detail. When my fickle mind plays such thoughts, I face frustration because I know it won't leave me alone for a while. So I wait for it to go away.

I shouldn't have done it in the first place. This has been the first and only time I've realised how many mistakes I've made. At first I couldn't help it, and with the help of gradual ignorance, the mistakes have automatically powered itself. It's like growing a breed of mutant sea monkeys, which you have been told has the potential to cause havoc to mankind. And you keep growing them because you're eager to see what result comes out of your ignorance. Then boom, they spiral out of control.

I'll post such notes soon.
777 days left.

Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance

Mr. Cheesefest

If I was wrong then I'm sorry. I'll stop this fight for the night, and this empty space left in the seat, to my right where you should be, says a lot.

That's all.

Mr. Wolf

Watch out for those carving pigs.
Karma's gonna get you.

Spiderman by The Cure

Babushka Blabber

Bonez: "Why is your face so close?"

Jamie: "I smelled something bad,

and I was just making sure that it was you."

Exams.

The one word the sends my world spiralling maniacally into despair.

Had my chem finals today. I forgot my calculator and my pen, so I ended up working manually with my pacer. I didn't get to complete the exam, I had only one more page to go. And it was the analysing of a graph. My exam skills are pathetic.

Well today I needed a bit of help with my math revision, so I rang up one of my close friends to help me out since he'd already finished school and had nothing interesting to do that afternoon. I was way past frustrated because my maths teacher explained the problem to me in a non-existent foreign language. She smells like cigarettes and her voice is supersonic high. I followed her instructions, and it still didn't work. So the moral of this story is that all I heard was mumbo-jumbo.

So I'm over at his house and we are trying to figure out the solution to the problem. We talked for a bit, etc. And he begins to explain how he could've done better on his exams and on his school work. And then he starts telling me not to "slack off 'cause it fucks you up". Well if I slacked off, I wouldn't be here, right?

Why do a lot of people do that? "I regret not doing this, I regret not doing that, I regret dropping school, and so on" If you knew it was wrong before, then why did you still do it? Why don't you make up for it now, rather than loaf around and mope about your current situation? My goodness.

Ugh, I smell like man-spray. What is up with Lynx?

When every wolf is at your door,
Just like a hundred times before,
But you don't want to see the end.

Chasing Pavements

I thought I took one step, but I took two back.

Ok, general stuff today. No kilometre-long soliloquys, or any of that emotional relief mumbo-jumbo. Just things that spill out of my head.

One: Survey Questions #2, #5 & #16
2. Who can you blame for your mood today?: Fuckhead shitcunt shit-talking motherfucker hoe bitch bastard slut skank dog infidel
5. Besides this, what are you doing right now?: Pulling a wedgie and listening to great music
16. The last thing you drank?: I drank lots of warm, diluted caffeine. It's yuck, but as long as it's caffeine...

Two: On-The-Go playlist 3
- You Give Me Something by James Morrison
- No Such Thing by John Mayer
- Dreaming With A Broken Heart by John Mayer
- Beautiful Surprise by India Arie
- Chasing Pavements by Adele
- I'm Kissing You by Des'ree
- Lesson Learned by Alicia Keys feat. John Mayer
- Amazing by Alex Lloyd
- Better Days by Pete Murray

Three: Summer Rain
Is the best season/weather combination of all season/weather combinations. I ran all the way home from work in the Summer Rain and loved it. I opened my mouth to let all the glorious rain fall into my mouth and realised I could be contracting hepatitis at that very moment from all the generations and generations of sewerage evaporated by the Sun's gleaming rays.
I am now laughing at the next person to kiss me.

Four: Debutante Ball
I don't want to attend with my original partner (don't worry Matthew, I won't name names) whom has magically transformed from a man into an asshole of a rotting vulture. I've got 3 weeks to decide whether or not to choose someone else or to attend as a guest.

Five: Public Display of Affection
Learn what the term 'Get a room' means. We're not saying it for the sake of wasting our time saying it.

Six: Palindromes
English: nurses run, racecar, Hannah, rotavator, "A man, a plan, a canal—Panama!" (Leigh Mercer), stressed desserts, murder for a jar of red rum, never odd or even.
Finnish: saippuakivikauppias (soap-stone vendor), saippuakalasalakauppias (soapfish bootlegger)
Dutch: koortsmeetsysteemstrook (fever measuring system strip)
Estonian: kuulilennuteetunneliluuk (bullet flightway tunnel hatch)

Seven: Flying Solo
To Singapore, then to Philippines at the end of the year. I'm joining dad this year for Christmas. My parents live in two different countries, imagine that.

Eight: Chasing Pavements
I've made up my mind, don't need to think it over.
If I'm wrong I ain't right, no need to look no further.
This ain't lust, I know this is love but if I tell the world,
I'll never say enough 'cause it was not said to you.
And that's exactly what I need to do, if I end up with you.
Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere or would it be a waste?
Even if I knew my place should I leave it there?

Chasing Pavements by Adele
Happy birthday John

Drenched With False Affection

"Welcome to the real world", he said to me condescendingly
Take a seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white...

I'm currently sitting in class, dripping wet. Blame the almost-Summer waterfights. It doesn't help when you've got an air-conditioner exerting mechanical-smelling cool air right above you. I smell like the lake just over 2 minutes away from here and it is scorching hot outside. I want to go home, and sleep on the cool ceramic tiles of my kitchen.

No, the teacher doesn't mind that I'm doing this right now.
I've finished my exam revision, and submitted in all pieces of work.

Anyway, my previous blog is of a detailed account of one of my moments of contemplation. Wow, that one sentence beared more 'ofs' than it typically should. It's not as detailed as 'I Love You But', but I'll continue from where I left off.

________________________________________

I closed my eyes, and waited.

Alike all reminisces you'd see in movies or on television, the memory entered my mind in a hazy cloud. In the back of my mind played more-than-subtle chimes. No it did not include birds, frogs or flowers, or any sort of typical fantasy characters/animals. This is how it started:
I was sitting in the passenger seat of my mum's car, merely staring off into space. I was quite surprised at how the rain clouds made the world seem darker than it should. I didn't want to think of it as a frightening coincidence; it's my parents' anniversary, though it too means something else to me.

The radio is playing in the background and my mother is speaking to me. But I can't hear any of that, all I hear are distant voices and mumbles. Tears well up in my eyes. My mother breaks my morbid concentration and repeats the question for the fourth time, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

I lie again, for the fourth time, "Yeah."

She drives slowly, I can tell that she's purposely eating up our time. She wants this just as much as I do. The car pulls up slowly by the rear of the library, and we sigh synchronized. "If anything happens, call me ok? I'll just be walking around" I look at her looking at me, with eyes of sympathy. I know for a fact that she doesn't want this happening to me. I nod my head, dropping the weight of my head in a single snap. I reach for the handles of the car door and pull. It doesn't open, I forgot the lock.

I hesitate to get out of the car, my movements are all slow and steady. I hit the ground with my left foot, placing it firm on the ground. I'm trying making sure that this is real. I tell her goodbye, "I'll see you later" and I run.

I quickly pace myself around the complicated structure of the shopping centre, the butterflies in my stomach are raging inside of me. They grow heavier and this causes my knees to shake. I want to fall, I want to scream. But I can't, I'm constricted by sanity.

Running turns into jogging, and jogging turns into walking... Fast. I reassure myself of the place we're sitting at. I make my way through the Food Court jungle, pushing past people and scanning to see that familiar face. I can't find him, and my heart begins to sink.

I sit on the large monument situated in the center of the Food Court, it stands tall. I close my eyes and try to hear him. But I stop immediately, realising that it's a stupid idea. Where could he be? Don't tell me I've been stood up again. I search within my view; not there. I look to my left; no. I look to my right; still no sign.

I look behind me, and almost faint.

Lesson Learned by Alicia Keys feat. John Mayer

I Love You But

...I'm not in love with you.

I laid there, still and unmoved. Like the lifeless ragdoll you used to own 30 years ago. I wouldn't be able to tell you if I was sitting or not, my stifling body slumped against the comfort of this cool couch. Withered and emaciated. Hot against cold.

An oriental wall divider is positioned in the very center of the room; it stood there like the sun to its universe, overpowering and conquering. I could say I feel intimidated by this beautiful object. Its carvings of medieval Korea and bright colours against its dark, ebony milieu - I could almost reach out and touch it. Sometimes, I secretly wish I was just as beautiful.

On the other side of the wall divider, was the gateway to the sun. Windows. Everything illuminated on that side, however with the pleasant light and heat against the face of this fiercesome object, the side I laid wilted vibed dark and cold.

I felt paralysed, I couldn't move. I didn't want to move. I squinted these eyes of mine, and through blurry vision, I tried to peer through the cracks and spaces of the wall divider. I wanted to see the sun, and grasp it. Even if it was only a small ray of light.

I saw it, and instantly an overwhelming feel conquered my lifeless body. It jolted every nerve in my body, I moved even though I tried not to. So I asked the sun, "Please take me back to number 9"

I closed my eyes, and waited.

Vegas Skies by The Cab

Stolen

This is for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPJARsZ-wt0
Stolen by Dashboard Confessionals

You wonder why I don't talk to you anymore. It's because I've told you everything I've ever wanted to say to you.

Stare At You

"I could just stare at you forever"
No, don't say that to me. Ever.

So today (technically yesterday) I revisted my dancing roots (I had quit crew training earlier this year) and experienced my burnt-out passion one more time before the year ended. I was saw old friends and met new people; and by the end of the night my best-friend and I were abnormally (in our own way) snickering about pick-up lines.
Here are some examples of what we came up with:
- You are like the croutons to my soup...
- You are like the beef patty to my burger...
- My life is like a cheeseburger. You are the cheese... It's just not complete without you.
- You are the Panadol to my headache...

That's all we have so far, and I have promised to use the crouton line on the next person that comes along... And I'll possibly use the cheeseburger line when things get more serious... With the right person of course. Which is in about a decade or so.

IMPORTANT!
Ok, so I just came home from my friend's house. It was his birthday and yadi-yadi-yada... A small gathering of friends. No alcohol or no-good substances included. Nice and simple, I loved it. We all laughed, danced and conversed for the whole night (oh believe me when I say it was the whole night) and for reasons unknown, one odd topic led to another and we came across the topic of interesting names (i.e. Ben Dover, Bob Down, Dwayne Pipe, Phuc Yu, etc.). So dear Arvin's (birthday celebrant) lightbulb flashes and starts rambling through his bookshelf. He brings out his highschool yearbook (2007) and hurridly scans through the pages. This process was done before you could say "Huh?".

He points to a girl's name: Iwona Dokter (as in I-wanna-doctor). My subconscious spontaneously overtakes and humour reflexes come into play, I crack a joke. "Its like if she got ill (God forbid), Iwona Dokter WANTS a doctor! (Pun intended...)"
Naturally, they were laughing... Not with me but at me.
So still flaming with interest, I decided to look through his whole yearbook to look for interesting names. And besides that girl's name, I found another interesting one. Last name: Beauglehole.
It's genius. So after that, we were all on YouTube watching Ghost Hunters. It was a great night.
END IMPORTANT!

If someone says 'Ay Bay Bay' to me one more time, I will shoot you.
Sorry I ceebs uploading pictures with my blogs. I've exceeded my downloading limit by a massive heap and I'm lagging real bad.
I've got to get to sleep, I actually have a job and it needs my attendance in the early morning.
It's R&B night tonight/morning.

Songs of the night/day:
- Single by New Kids On The Block
- Click Click Click by New Kids On The Block
- Stare At You by New Kids On The Block
- Mad by NeYo
- Vegas Skies by The Cab (non-R&B)

I had a dream last night we...
You saved my life.

My Opinion On Your Opinion

The world does not revolve around your opinions.
And it clearly doesn't revolve around mine either.

Here, let me give you some constructive criticism:
Just because you write an opinion doesn't mean that your readers will agree to it. Indoctrinating their thoughts with what you think is annoying/stupid/lame/wrong? The smart ones will make up their minds about what you think. They'll either think you're divine, or they'll think you're a total a-hole. The ones who're 'getting there' and just learning about understanding the real world will probably accept everything you say.

Now, opinions may not always be about annoying/stupid/lame things. Opinions can be formed about the real things; such as the human impact on the environment, neo-nazism and racial attitudes, political issues, issues in general - issues that'll impact the world.

Opinions about a type of cult/label, an aged-based attitude, how people dress, how people act, what people do... How is that important? This only shows your strong dislike and annoyance for something in particular.

So what if people want to write out their whole life story on their FaceBooks, Bebos, Multiplies, Friendsters and MySpaces?
So what if they even own one? That's what they're for anyway. If you don't like it then don't use it.
So what if they dress eccentrically and type a certain way?
So what if people act and dance differently?
So what if people want to type their feelings out to cyberspace?
If you don't like it, avoid it. If you can't, then suck it up.

They're not you, they're them. And I don't care if there are a hundred clones, or two thousand clones. I don't care if they're fake, real, ugly, pretty, shy or really loud and outspoken. Because none of those adjectives matter to me. We're all human.

My opinion may not matter, and it may not be agreed to. But that's not going to let me down, because at least I know that we're all not the same.

Shoutouts to:

Jack, Rykes, KMN, Cat-lyn, Danielee, LeLe, Loz & JD

Far Away by Nickelback

(Untitled)

Jondael: "What happened?"
Roger: "Shit happens!"

Change... took the people I love away from me.

I'm sick of you always criticising me.

Original blog was deleted.

Dismantle Repair

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you

It's Monday,
And it's 7:29pm. I just hopped in and out of the shower with a hundred, no a thousand, thoughts in my head. I sat on the corner of my shower cubicle, watching all the mist rise past me, leaving me on Earth to join the clouds. I stayed until I was completely dry.

I dried my hair, and played with my fringe. "How will it look like if I position it to the left? Oh no, that looks horrible. Let's try the right... Nopes. That's horrible too. I wish I'd had never cut it this short." I got dressed, put on my Superman Escape souvenir t-shirt from Movie World. I closed my eyes and sighed.

I reopened them after a couple of seconds and contemplated my eyes for a bit, "Gosh, they're tiny". I contemplated my nose, lips, cheeks, eyebrows, hair and face until contemplating turned into criticising. I stopped and looked in my bathroom mirror, I took a deep breath. I looked behind me to my bedroom mirror, and took another deep breath. The music playing in the background is overwhelming me. I feel as though I could drop, and something mystical would catch me. I thought twice about testing it; the cons outweighed the pros.

I walked down the stairs, slowly and unsteadily. My knees trembling as though I've never seen a flight of stairs before. I realised, "Have I been in the shower long enough for my bones to soften? Hold the rails darling."

I was in semi-desperate need to get all these thoughts out of my head. There were so many of them, I could swear I felt my head spin. I need to go for a walk, I need a distraction. I need to get out of here.
It's 7:40pm.

Prude Food

We just held hands, hugged, talked and laughed. That's all there was to it. I don't know why everyone made such a big deal out of it. And no, we weren't doing anything frisky behind the bush which Roger thought was a mutant rabbit.

(Previous blog was deleted)

Dismantle Repair by Anberlin

A Whisper & A Clamor

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow
Don't believe anything you say
Anymore, in the morn, in the morning
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive

I'm tired of holding grudges.

Get Crunk?

More like 'Get drunk and fuck yourself'.'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49Vswl2Ql8w
With only three people in a class, no teachers/supervisors, a ranga moustache and a camera... How can you not resist?
Kudos to taylorsharneRAWR for uploading, and to Mel for being there at the scene of the crime. We'll keep making beautiful memories together in Commerce.

Ok, so I just came back from Khoi's house party. And I have to be honest when I say "I have never seen so many asians in my whole life". There were both good sides and bad sides to it. I'll start off with the bad side, only 'cause I'm a supposed pessimist.

Bad side:
- It was really boring and dull at the start 'cause there was no music!
- And when there was music, we couldn't dance to it. (I think Khoi was depressed and wanted us to listen to depressing R&B music)
- There was no food, so people raided his pantry for Mi Goreng and cookies
- And when there was food, it was all meat!
- Cruisers were gone before you could say "Bitch!"
- The ratio of guys to girls was 9236492364:1
- The house is smaller than your average garage (it was horrifying when 50 of us were all crowded in the hall)
- FRANK WAS PLAYING DOTA FFS!
- The only drinks available were Cruisers, Coronas, Red Label, Coke and hose water
- Everyone's lighter wasted out
- No weed
- Roger was fucking gone; he was seeing flattened Malteasers on the ground, horseshit, fairies, and bushes that looked like mutant rabbits. Poor guy.
- Everyone smelled like ass...
- ...And no one brought deodorant!
- There was a guy who looked like him.
- People OD-ing on drinks and they all dropped one by one like bird shit
- And I'm not stating this last one. It was that bad!
Good side:
- The backyard and the BBQ bonfire that burned for 10 minutes
- There were enough cigs to kill 10 people
- Coronas and shots
- Keeping my sanity
- Meeting so many people
- "Windmill dance!"

- Bonez: "Hey look! A party! Let's go crash it!"

Jason: "That's our party you loser!"
- Eponie Eve ('nuff said (L))

It was good overall, despite having the cons outweigh the pros. I had fun.

Think this is irresponsible? If you're a teenager, act like one.

Alexithymia

Or Alex-is-thy-ma, no?

Lazyboy pokerface shiggame-ow!

My name is Bonez, but you can call me anytime. ;)

You and your undivided honesty can go and have each others' babies.

You must think I'm boring now. No, I just have different ideas for fun.

Calling All Skeletons

Yesterday was the longest day of my life.
I refuse to go into the gory details, but you can take a wild guess. The skeletons in my closet have been cleaned out, with the help of my mum.
I'm feeling free and brand new.

Two days ago was Halloween and I went Trick-Or-Treating with a few friends around their block. I was dressed normally, wearing a hideous mask which looked like an after-shot of Predator, after falling in a mammoth-sized tank of sulfuric acid. Obviously they could tell I was female (skin-tight shirt, oh no). And Yen, who wore baggy clothes, wore a mask which looked like a wolf that was rotting-to-the-bone. The rest of the guys were dressed as themselves (lamest costumes everrrrr, no doubt *click-click*). Most were kind and generous enough to give what we knocked on their doors for. Others pretended not to be there after we said "Trick-Or-Treat", even when they knew that we saw their living room/hallway lights turn on... magically. But we collected a shitload of candy when it was put altogether. Naturally, I took all the Minties and Warheads; it was a shame none of them gave RedSkins.

So yesterday was All Saint's day, I lit a candle and prayed.
And I'm doing the same thing tonight for All Soul's.
The usual thing most traditional families would do around this time of year.

Khoi's get-smashed party's on today, and Jondael's picking me up at 4.
We're gonna take the train there and back home, yadi-yadi-yada.

Mum: "Oooh! You see! You're watching your horror movies again."
Bonez: "Mum, it's Fantastic Four."

Songs of the day:

Paperthin Hymn by Anberlin

Alexithymia by Anberlin

Spiderman by The Cure

Used For Glue by Rival Schools

Calling All Skeletons by Alkaline Trio

Private Eye by Alkaline Trio

Fallen Leaves by Billy Talent

Love you, love Bonez.