Miserable At Best

I'm not a loser.

Don't you ever get that feeling where you know you're due to being sick anytime soon? Like your body sends you a signal, let's say a hoarse cough for example, and your immediate instinct is, "OH NO I'M SICK. Stupid (insert name of sick friend you've recently been in contact with)."

Since the recent 'swine flu' virus has become a red-flag for health and safety, once a person grabs a tissue or leans in for a sneeze, "Swine flu" becomes your automatic new name.
Oh the deadly viruses that sweep the nation.

Currently watching: Live Aid Concert 1985
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Jamie was burning tables, safety pins and paper during study. He rigged/gased his lighter and I took my time to measure the height of the flame without burning my fingers. Lighter got confiscated and we went outside with Geraden. Left campus to light up at the oval behind the public stadium. More people kept coming and it began to crowd, so we left and we walked back on campus smelling like fried tobacco.

I'm beginning to think that rebellion is stupid when it comes to general behaviour. Is it wise to say that I'll abstinate from illicit drug use for the rest of the year, or will I mimic my abusive peers in providing empty promises?

I want to change, but I don't have a reason to.
With an apathetic woman for a mother, a swindling father, and womaniser for a brother. With friends who acknowledge the very facade, and only the facade. For if tears should seep out and flow through these human cracks of imperfection, for if vulnerability is revealed, they will be lost. "That's not you", they'll say, and they return on the hunt for your facade.

Because drugs aren't the answer, these harmful feel-goods made of poison, to poison. Because if I only had you, your dreading soul crying out to the very dark of night; our souls should cry together. We will fall back in love with our eyes red and puffed, faces smoothened; lips swollened, singing "Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?"

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I have an allergic reaction currently occuring on my left shoulder. Sorry about the unexpected mood swing, I've just decided to combine multiple entries into one :)