Miaow

For my birthday this year, I want a cat.

Not just any ordinary cat, an orange cat.
One that looks exactly just like Garfield,
and I'm gonna name it Chlamydia because I can.

ghost

Viorar Vel Til Loftarasa

If you are homophobic, I strongly recommend that you refrain from watching.

ghost

I Don't Love You

At the end of the world or the last thing I see

You are never coming home, never coming home

Could I? Should I?

And all the things that you never ever told me

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me

Never coming home, never coming home

Could I? Should I?

And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me

For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me...

ghost

Blood Bank

My current workspace: my dining table.
I am seriously digging Bon Iver's music right now,
and the rock/alternative music I was into back in 2007/2008.
I think I've got the rest of my life planned out:
- Complete year 12 (and get a good ENTER SCORE) while trying to apply for a new part-time job.
- Get my alcohol license when I turn 18 and apply as a bartender at a family restaurant before moving to hotel lounges and bars, etc. Then PASS MY P'S AND BUY A CAR.
- If the above plan doesn't succeed, apply as a sales assistant at some retail clothing store instead. Then PASS MY P'S AND BUY A CAR.
- Bachelor of Architectural Design at RMIT or Monash
- If the above plan fails, Bachelor of Education and Bachelor of Science (Applied Sciences) double degree at RMIT
- After finishing the first degree, move out of home into an apartment shared with Yen and move onto Bachelor of Design (Fashion)
- Then follow onto a career involving men's fashion design
- No getting married 'cause marriage is the biggest ball-breaker
- Grow old with an iguana named Kumar and a black cat named Coco

I'm pretty sure my life won't follow that path exactly, but it's a good outline of what I want to do with my life :)

Tomorrow (well later today) I'm off to drive around the city to buy my textbooks for this year, and then I'll be heading home to get cracking on my homework. It'll be three busy days of non-stop cramming. I hate that. But there was nothing I could do about it; both my 'rents were overseas - with mum aiding my grandma during her operation, and dad just lives elsewhere - and I didn't have the dosh to buy the materials I needed for my final highschool year. How sad.

There was a cricket in my kitchen today and I panicked. I didn't want to kill it, let alone squash it with my hand and hear its exoskeletal body crunch between my fingers. It came closer towards me and I panicked some more so I dropped an unopened tissue box on it.
R.I.P. cricket.

I wish you'd talk to me.
Is it really that weird for you?

ghost

She Wants To Know

Hola chiquita,
Boys will do anything and say everything to get those grubby hands into girls' panties. Once they're done with you, they'll be gone before the sun decides to rise. Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat.

ghost

Just Another

I'd tell you his name, but I'm afraid that you might fall in love with him too.

I guess it was better that we said nothing at all.
Well, nothing important at least.
No questions were asked, no romatic words exchanged.
Returning to the feeling, yet, not quite exactly.
Tonight was nice, until you left the room.

I was probably just another.

ghost

GHOST

ghost

Bon Hiver, Good Winter

Flume - Bon Iver, current favourite band

Laid-back day home
Cooked peri-peri chicken breast fillet steaks and lemon-battered barramundi for dinner
Consumed at least 7 pots of English tea today
Wanting to buy Bon Iver's album, 'For Emma, Forever Again'
Writing up a new resumè and thinking of applying as a retail sales assistant at Globalize, Edge, Sportsgirl, Dotti or Factorie. (I'm focusing more on the last two stores 'cause I'm sure Globalize, Edge and Sportsgirl require more experience in retail)
Searching up second-hand cars that I'd be willing to save up for
Lovely night in, away from the rest of the world and it's troubles

ghost

Fuck It - Eamon

See I don't know why I liked you so much,

I gave you all of my trust.

I told you, I loved you, now that's all down the drain.

Ya put me through pain, I wanna let you know that I feel...

Fuck what I said, it don't mean shit now,

Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out.

Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack,

Fuck you, you hoe, I don't want you back.

You thought you could keep this shit from me, yeah

Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story.

Ya played me, ya even gave her head,

Now ya askin' for me back, ya just another act,

Look elsewhere 'cause you're done with me.

ghost

Take My Hand

"Good evening, will that be a table for two for tonight?"

"No... Just a table for one."

I see the couples are walkin' by, feel like I don't wanna be alone today. So glad no one can see what I hide deep inside - how it feels to be the girl who never gets the right guy, tell me why? When there's so much I've got to give. I wake up reaching out in the night, ready to hold him tight, 'till I realise that nobody is there.

I miss my parents.

I miss being so oblivious to this whole relationshit thing.

ghost

I'm Not Missing You

I will spin on my wheelie-chair with my head and hair thrown aback, careless about the surrounding obstacles that would potentially crack my head open and spill my secrets out.

ghost

I Have Smelly Socks

Truth;

what does it even mean?

ghost

Fuck Romance

Forget his name and face,
forget his kiss and warm embrace.
Forget the things he used to say,
remember now he's gone away.
Forget the times that went so fast,
forget his love which now has past.
Forget the things he used to do,
remember now he loves her too.
Forget the love that you once shared,
forget the fact that he once cared.
Forget the way he said your name,
remember now things are not the same.
Forget the talks that you once had,
forget the thought; it makes you sad.
Forget that you said you would wait,
remember now his love is hate.
Forget him when they play your song,
forget you cried the whole night long.
Forget he said he'll leave you never,
remember now he's gone forever.

Just as I was just about to give you my heart,
I find out that you fucked me over.
You made me think it was all my fault,
and yes it was. It's my fault I fell for cheap sweet-talk.

ghost

I Hate Love

I've made my mistakes, and I've screwed up.

I always thought that you'd be the one to screw up but it turns out to be the other way around. You're not the wreckless player I thought you were, and I'm so in love with you.

ghost

I Could Never Get Away, You Could Never Run Away

My Turn - Basement Jaxx

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Free

Ever since you told me I'mma tell you how it's been
Don't talk to nobody not even my friends
I can't sleep
And I don't even clean
I ain't had a good meal
This is how you make me feel when you're not here

ghost

Thugz Mansion

A place to spend my quiet nights, time to unwind
So much pressure in this life of mine, I cry at times
I once contemplated suicide, and woulda tried
But when I held that knife, all I could see was my momma's eyes
No one knows my struggle, they only see the trouble
Not knowin' it's hard to carry on when no one loves you

ghost

Is Everyone Here Make-Believe?

Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no-one but me?

Pulling off an all-nighter cos I can't sleep from the pain...
But I'm still smiling aren't I?

ghost

Hooked

Outgrowing my fringe and my short bob.

I'm so down for the whole dramatic appearance change right now. It's a little weird though cos an outgrown bob looks like a really freaky mullet so in the meanwhile, I've decided to stick to the bobby-pin-and-hairspray method of holding my hair back until it grows properly cos I still can't tie my hair without having tiny bits of hair sticking out. (n)

I'm sick of the whole sensitive and self-conscious thing with relationships, so I'm just gonna stop thinking about it by doing housework. Suck it up, G.

And speaking of which, my mum left to go to Phils. tonight to visit my ill grandma. I wasn't really given much option on whether I could go or not because I'm stuck with taking care of the house, younger brother, and paying of domestic bills. But don't tell my mum this but... I really miss her for once. And I have nobody to cry to if I get those rape-nightmares. *shudders*

It's hella lonely tonight.

Like, really lonely.

ghost

Can't Get You Outta My System

I can't
stay away from you for this long. I have to see you :(

ghost

Entwine

I lay flat on the tiles of my bathroom as the cool of the tiles absorb the heat of my palms and soles. I dream about the floor consuming me whole and fall away into unconsciousness. "I would really like that" I say to the visible entities surrounding me, but it doesn't happen. Instead, the weight of my pain and regrets depress my chest against the floor, causing me to curl up into foetal position. I cry out your name, but you'll never hear me.

ghost

Alienated

I need you,
I don't think you realise just how much I do.
My mind's playing games with me, confusion is making me cry,
and I need you to be there to tell me it'll be ok,
and I'll do the same for you.
But for now, nothing's gonna be ok.

Miscommunication, misunderstandings;
I don't think I've realised how much they can destroy
feelings, the truth, and friendships.

I'm sorry
ghost

Love

Love,

I don't think I realised how much I did until I made that mistake.

But no one will ever know.

ghost

Last Night

Firstly, hellooo 2010 :)

Secondly, 3 days straight of non-stop drinking up and partying. I've used today as an advantage to sober up from my unbelievably crunk hangovers by indulging myself in cold pizzas. Mmm the ultimate hangover remedy... Oh I love how it soothes the belly.

Thirdly, the drinking and partying commences tomorrow. Goodbye sanity.

Fourthly, it looks like I've just jumped into the pool of stupidity and am currently drowning in regret.

I hate what I've become.

ghost