Those Eyes, You've Got Me Hypnotized

But suffice it to say, we're leaving things unsaid
We sing ourselves to sleep, watching the day lie down instead
- Unsaid by The Fray

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Had my IT SAC at Melton in the morn, and ad. gen. as well. Friggin' my friends wagged ad. gen. and left me hanging in Melton. Andrew sent me a text message telling me to take the bus back to Caroline Springs but I had 'no service'; I didn't receive the message until an hour ago -.-
Came back to base campus and the girls and I, plus Andrew, were illchaying on the grass. I love it! I also had my methods exam today, I guess the day went pretty well.

Except for me being sick, straight after school I crashed. I only got up a few minutes ago. I also dreamt of doing chemistry in my head o_o like bondings, intermolecular forces (especially hydrogen bonding. Oooohhhhh there was a lot of that) and mental stoichiometry o_o

I was also meant to have dance prac today but my head weighs a hundred tonnes, so flailing around hurts a lot. Even just getting out of bed is a pain in the ass. I can't go to work tomorrow either, my boss is extreme about the whole 'swine flu' epidemic, so she'll send home anyone who's sick.

I'm scared of what he'd say, if what I say is incomplete

Miserable At Best

I'm not a loser.

Don't you ever get that feeling where you know you're due to being sick anytime soon? Like your body sends you a signal, let's say a hoarse cough for example, and your immediate instinct is, "OH NO I'M SICK. Stupid (insert name of sick friend you've recently been in contact with)."

Since the recent 'swine flu' virus has become a red-flag for health and safety, once a person grabs a tissue or leans in for a sneeze, "Swine flu" becomes your automatic new name.
Oh the deadly viruses that sweep the nation.

Currently watching: Live Aid Concert 1985
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Jamie was burning tables, safety pins and paper during study. He rigged/gased his lighter and I took my time to measure the height of the flame without burning my fingers. Lighter got confiscated and we went outside with Geraden. Left campus to light up at the oval behind the public stadium. More people kept coming and it began to crowd, so we left and we walked back on campus smelling like fried tobacco.

I'm beginning to think that rebellion is stupid when it comes to general behaviour. Is it wise to say that I'll abstinate from illicit drug use for the rest of the year, or will I mimic my abusive peers in providing empty promises?

I want to change, but I don't have a reason to.
With an apathetic woman for a mother, a swindling father, and womaniser for a brother. With friends who acknowledge the very facade, and only the facade. For if tears should seep out and flow through these human cracks of imperfection, for if vulnerability is revealed, they will be lost. "That's not you", they'll say, and they return on the hunt for your facade.

Because drugs aren't the answer, these harmful feel-goods made of poison, to poison. Because if I only had you, your dreading soul crying out to the very dark of night; our souls should cry together. We will fall back in love with our eyes red and puffed, faces smoothened; lips swollened, singing "Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?"

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I have an allergic reaction currently occuring on my left shoulder. Sorry about the unexpected mood swing, I've just decided to combine multiple entries into one :)

When You Wake And Find Me Gone...

When you're dreaming with a broken heart,
The waking up is the hardest part.
You roll outta bed and down on your knees,
And for the moment you can hardly breathe.
Wondering was he really here?
Is he standing in my room?
No he's not, 'cause he's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...

I could listen to this song a hundred times everyday and never fail to cry
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Just thought I should blog before I went to bed, I'm pretty content with everything at the moment. My brother helped me with memorising dates and years for History, I even went to the extent of remembering birthdates and deaths. I finished revising for chemistry, my door is seriously covered in colourful sticky notes.

Chem and history exams tomorrow, methods revision after school, then meth exam on Friday. Easy breezy. And then I've got until Wednesday to study for ad. gen., so everything looks like its smooth sailing.

Despite my study efforts, I've realized that I've been distancing myself further away from my peers and my social life's beginning to deteriorate. I'm missing you so much, Old Flame.

Love, Bonez.

PS. In my opinion, the New Moon trailer is a disappointment!

Three For Three, I'll Disagree

Yes, I'm aware that I'm publishing multiple entries for this day of June 2nd, but I love blogging. Even if it's about nothing, I treat it like it's Twitter. Even though I don't have a Twitter account.
I'm aware that it's a new month and... I'm still stuck on the month of April. Don't ask me why - well, maybe it's because the previous holidays were in the month of April? When I'm writing dates on my students' notebooks or on my work at school, they'd always remind me that it's either May or June. For those who notice it anyway.

I'm not as pissed off as I seemed to be on my previous entry, I was having an extremely hard time with chemistry and the person who asked me to do his expository piece recommended that if I should complete his piece by tonight, he'd help me with chem tomorrow morning. I managed to complete his piece in 2 hours... The conclusion taking up an hour.
The piece took my mind off chemistry and I was actually enjoying the writing.

Mum walked past me a couple of minutes ago and asked what I was blogging about on the Internet. I replied, "Mood swings". She the requested that I type this up:
"Ignore her mood swings, I do."
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Maybe in five or ten, yours and mine will meet again; straighten this whole thing out. Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy. But this is the distance, and this is my gameface
Vienna by The Fray

Chem? Seriously?

Chem is a major fuck off
Blogging out of frustration, I just want to understand this, but I can't. It's only 2 days until the exam and doing the practise exam is hopeless. I've never even heard half of the words in this practise exam! I do study, don't get me wrong, but... WHAT THE FUCK?
He also wants me to do his english expository piece, fuck off! I already have so much to stress about you lazy bastard, you're in year 12 for fuck's sake. I wasn't stressed until you forced me to do your fucking piece. Take some responsibility for yourself!
FUCK ALL AYE!
I just wanna fucking drop school!
"Oooh you've got so much potential~ Don't do that~!"
OH GO FUCK YOURSELF.

"Are You Afraid Of Dying?"

She asked.
I slowly lifted my head and made contact with those firm grey eyes of hers, she meant the words that escaped her lips, for this question is one I've come prepared for.
"I'm not afraid of dying; I'm afraid of not being able to do the things I've always wanted to do, and I'm in fear of being unable to say the things I've always wanted to say."
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And I'll cry, tremble and shake in wrath as you lock me into your arms.
"I won't let go" you'd say, but oh, I will.

I Beg To Differ

Today I spent 5 hours cleaning my room, and recently have I noticed that whenever I buy a new piece of furniture for my room, I go through the routine of rearranging and cleaning my room.

For example, if I buy a D.I.Y. bookshelf or table from IKEA (and might I add, I build them myself!), I look at the place in my room I want it placed and replace whatevers there.

Building the table took me like, what?, 30-45 minutes? And the rest was simply moving furniture out of my room, rearranging everything, tidying up and getting rid of unnecessary things like old books, scraps of crap and stuff on my wall.

I get really obsessive compulsive about the order of my room, a trait of which I inherited from my mum.

Paris Is Burning by Ladyhawke

Well there's a photo to brag about my hardwork (no I'm joking) and I'm still looking for a photo to put into that frame. And the table's pink and white! :)

I did that all to make me more motivated to study, and it does actually work.

GAT Day. From year 7 to 10, I've always looked forward to GAT day because it was simply a day off for middle school. Not this year. Back to studying I am, exam week this week.