Stop And Stare

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make a move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here...

Boys! Grab Your Guns

No, don't.


It's Monday,
September 29th 2008 and currently 12:45pm. I'm still in my pyjamas and I may have overslept. My hair is a bird's nest, I haven't eaten since 2pm yesterday afternoon and my appetite doesn't seem to be returning since it left 1 week and a half ago. I feel sick, I feel faint, I feel like my heart isn't there.

I love movies, movies keep my mind off certain things. The last movie I watched was Run Fatboy Run, which was last night, and I have the sudden urge to watch Dragon Wars and There Will Be Blood. I want to play Guitar Hero III at the same time, but that would be downright selfish. Music keeps my mind on certain things. I have a favourite music/record/technology store, but I can't go to that anymore. Well, at least when he's not working.

Simple, but eccentric. I have a favourite vintage apparel store, but I've never bought anything from there. I love my job, but it gets boring. My mind thinks rapidly when I'm in pain, I can't verbally keep up. I mumble, I spit when I talk, I'm unlady-like, but I do have manners and respect. I have a deeper voice than most, and I often have a hard time trying to sound like a girl. I have an accent (between Australian and British) and people laugh at certain words I say.

I'm extremely difficult, stubborn, and I need to know the reason for almost everything. I'm not good at everything, and I try to be average at whatever I'm not good at, at least. I change myself for what I think is for the betterment of everyone. I don't have that high-pitched laugh/squeal I used to possess a year ago, the laugh people used to think was an utter disturbance. I think before I speak. I don't do some of the things I love anymore, like playing my musical instruments.

I feel the best when I'm dancing/partying with friends, and I haven't touched my piano since August 29th. I've relived favourite pasttimes, like creating art. Sculptures (clay, cement, mod-rock), drawings, sketches, paintings, photography. Drugs aren't always fun. Books are loyal company and I would like a pet iguana.

I would like someone who can make me laugh until I cry, respect the ones who keep me glowing, be reasonable, and appreciate me for who I am - regardless of how much I spit when I talk. Someone who won't leave and run away (without reason), regardless of the issue and situation.

Someone who'll only make me cry happy tears.
But my mumma always told me that I should only wish for things that were possible. It is 1:09pm.

Shed A Little Light

Don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Ok, I'm in a fairly equal mood tonight. Today was such a great day, I spent it with my bestfriend and her boyfriend (whom is a good friend of mine). It was fun, considering how last minute and disorganised it was. The original plan was to go to the Manifest (Melbourne Anime Festival) but I called a close to that plan, so we went to the city, took photos at Union La and ate at a magnificent Thai food at a restaurant called 'Your Thai' on Bourke St.

(1st pic: The bestfriend and I / 2nd pic: The couple)

The amount of Thai food that was supplied for one meal could have lasted us a week, the service was fast and prices were reasonably cheap. Then we made a split decision to go to Chadstone Shopping Centre from there. Neither of us had ever been there before, but with proper directions from Customer Service, we easily found our way. We got on the train, on our way to Chadstone and we had too much to laugh about. It was probably the Thai food getting to us. Gosh, I love Thai food.

So we arrived at Chadstone a little later and watched the Mummy 3. Got home at a later time and encountered a hand-stroking-bearded-weirdo working at the station's fast food hut.

I'm falling in love with the idea of Dracula.

Maxxx

Love is giving someone the power to hurt you terribly... and hoping they don't.

~Three Panel Soul.

Ahhhh, yeah. Shut up.
I love you Rhi!

Spring Holidays

Began on September 20, 2008.I should have published this blog before the 3-4 previous blogs I wrote.

Ok so I'm currently on Spring holidays, and I'm having the time of my life. I have so much planned; enjoying the sun as it bursts out its glorifying rays of pleasant heat onto our part of the world for the first time since it's annual hibernation, time spent with family and friends, being happy, discovering my purpose and current direction.

Firstly, I'll type about how people usually live regretting lost time with their families. I've had conversations with older friends about regretting lost time with their families, regretting the trouble they caused, regretting leaving school, regretting to create peace with past peers, regretting to realise earlier, and regretting to make amends. All I can do is give them sympathy for I cannot imagine living the rest of my life in regret. Being stubborn at an early age, I've learnt from their experiences and mine own experiences - I've learnt that blood is thicker than water. I cherish my family for everything, full stop. I'll spend most of my time with them, for in the future, there won't be any time left between us altogether.

My purpose, is to be happy. No one can lead me down and out, I'll be me for me. Not for you, or for anyone - for me. Being in a relationship, or any similars in that matter, do not have to power to make me whole for I am whole myself. Being in love? Much too early. Destiny? What kind of New Age bullshit is that? I'm the happiest I can be.

Current direction, I'm heading forward on my own pace with the guidance of God.

Obviously, I don't know what to write.

Easy Profit, How?

Quadruple the prices!
Unfair economics makes the world go 'round.
Not.

Ok, I was at the Royal Melbourne Show today. It's an annual event held in Melbourne every year at the showgrounds. For more details, I'm pretty sure you can Google it.
I love the Melbourne Show, I feel as though it gives us all an opportunity to enjoy ourselves, tighten our bond with whoever we're bringing along, and spend shitloads of cash. If I were the establisher/owner of such annual festivities, I must admit that I would be the happiest person alive. Doubling the prices of the goods of what they're worth. Come on! I go to a pavillion to buy grilled cheese for $2, that's how much my mum pays for a loaf of bread! A badge, no bigger than a 5c coin, $2! A cup of warm coke the size of my fist (my fist isn't that big either) worth $4!

I guess it's fair when I say the food is what I found most expensive at the Show. Things don't come cheap, right? So how do I solve this dilemma of mine? Bring a bloody eski with me next year filled with all these drinks, food and shit that I need.

This rant was completely pointless, but hey, what can you do?

One For Amir

"Have you guys looked at the walls, what c-colour are they?
Awkwarddddd-marine. Hah."

Love you.

When I'll Be 23

Soliditary Expulsion of Xoran!... Now what does that stand for?
My breakover, it begins... Now.

Lyrical Lies

Ok, so comparing this entry to my blogging frequency, I haven't blogged in a while.
What I was thinking in typing for this blog is just some fancy thoughts running through my mind. Running a span of 2 minutes, let's see how many things can run through my head. This will give you a chance to critique the functions of my thoughts. Time starts... now:

- The definition of ipso facto: close to the fact.
- I want to watch Lake Placid.
- Placid means undisturbed.
- Lake Placid is the movie with the freaky-deaky mutated alligators/crocodiles.
- What the hell is the difference?
- My hand has weird symbols drawn on by permanent marker.
- I like collecting newspaper clippings.
- There is a comic on the Herald Sun called 'Non-Sequitir' that I like to read.
- The caricatures are cute.
- Cute means ugly and amusing.
- Holding onto the past, dwelling on memories won't bring them back. It only wastes the time you have in the present.
- Oh shit, I've gone over the 2 min. limit by 38 seconds.

And there you have it, the runs of my mind.

An old man gave me a tip he said, "Don't waste your time with politics". He said "Just chase skirts instead."
"Life is too short, and you're almost dead." he said, "I met a woman once, I gave her my best shot but never did I talk and talk and talk. If I had her back, I'd be as real as my age. I so don't blame them, I wouldn't do the same. But I can blame them, I'd sing her this."

For Fuck's Sake

I'm not coming back.
I've done something so terrible, I'm terrified to speak but you'd expect that from me. I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, and now the rain is just washing you out of my hair.
And out of my mind...

At times, I want to slap every boy in the face. Regardless of what they did and didn't do. I'm sorry, bear with me. This state of hate is crawling into my skin, and spreading the vivid emotion to every corner of my body.

And baby when they knock you, down and out, that's where you oughta stay.