Boys! Grab Your Guns

No, don't.


It's Monday,
September 29th 2008 and currently 12:45pm. I'm still in my pyjamas and I may have overslept. My hair is a bird's nest, I haven't eaten since 2pm yesterday afternoon and my appetite doesn't seem to be returning since it left 1 week and a half ago. I feel sick, I feel faint, I feel like my heart isn't there.

I love movies, movies keep my mind off certain things. The last movie I watched was Run Fatboy Run, which was last night, and I have the sudden urge to watch Dragon Wars and There Will Be Blood. I want to play Guitar Hero III at the same time, but that would be downright selfish. Music keeps my mind on certain things. I have a favourite music/record/technology store, but I can't go to that anymore. Well, at least when he's not working.

Simple, but eccentric. I have a favourite vintage apparel store, but I've never bought anything from there. I love my job, but it gets boring. My mind thinks rapidly when I'm in pain, I can't verbally keep up. I mumble, I spit when I talk, I'm unlady-like, but I do have manners and respect. I have a deeper voice than most, and I often have a hard time trying to sound like a girl. I have an accent (between Australian and British) and people laugh at certain words I say.

I'm extremely difficult, stubborn, and I need to know the reason for almost everything. I'm not good at everything, and I try to be average at whatever I'm not good at, at least. I change myself for what I think is for the betterment of everyone. I don't have that high-pitched laugh/squeal I used to possess a year ago, the laugh people used to think was an utter disturbance. I think before I speak. I don't do some of the things I love anymore, like playing my musical instruments.

I feel the best when I'm dancing/partying with friends, and I haven't touched my piano since August 29th. I've relived favourite pasttimes, like creating art. Sculptures (clay, cement, mod-rock), drawings, sketches, paintings, photography. Drugs aren't always fun. Books are loyal company and I would like a pet iguana.

I would like someone who can make me laugh until I cry, respect the ones who keep me glowing, be reasonable, and appreciate me for who I am - regardless of how much I spit when I talk. Someone who won't leave and run away (without reason), regardless of the issue and situation.

Someone who'll only make me cry happy tears.
But my mumma always told me that I should only wish for things that were possible. It is 1:09pm.