Impervious

I don't care who you're flirting on or who you've been eyeing.
I don't care about the ladies who buy you drinks at the bar and clubs.
I don't care if you're stiffing up from a hot girl you've seen at the beach.
I don't care if your lady friends call you at 2am just because.
I don't care if you're getting your gear on for cougar-hunting.
I don't care if you've been telling me that you love me and that I'm the only girl you'll only ever have your eye on... Even if it's for now because I've been there and I've believed that. I'll be nodding my head and I'll be saying "Yeah, yeah" but you'll never know that I'll always be doubting. I'm never letting my guard down, and until you can prove my doubts wrong, I will not become vulnerable to you.
Smother me in hugs and kisses and "love", I don't care.

And it's funny 'cause I guess I don't miss you right now.
ghost

And Who The Hell Was I? My, My, My

There is no such thing as cold. Cold is the absence of energy - the absence of heat.
There is no such thing as depression, only the absence of happiness.
There is no such thing as alone, only the absence of companionship.

But if I'm gone, nothing will be affected. No noticeable change.
Not even a strand missing from the web of life.
I'm too fucking sad to write anything that makes sense.

Godamnit this medication does nothing except empty my pockets.
ghost

Sexy Fresh

You've got those pretty brown eyes drivin' me wild, fresh to death, lose my breath, all those girls know ya name...

ghost

FUCK MY LIFE TO THE CORE

You'd might as well take a shit on my life you inconsiderate pricks. You all probably wouldn't even give two shits if I was found massacred and mutilated in the Deer Park tunnels.

ghost

Mista Fashionista

Things to do before 2010:

- GET WELL!
- Buy remaining Christmas gifts
- Get brows done

- Buy BDO 2010 tix of eBay ASAP!

- Save up to $200 for Jan 2010

- Pay off layby for Lee Licks at Edge (Waterg's)

- Buy glossy hot pink heels from Novo (Waterg's)

- Buy Libs', Treston's and Jay's presents

- Do half of the holiday homework (pref. methods)

- GET THE ORDERS IN FOR NEXT YEAR'S TEXTBOOKS ASAP!!

- Give Monique Thea's 1984

- Give Karl my IT 3/4 textbooks

- Make a Runescape account

ghost

Secret Letters

Secret letter #1:
Frankly, I don't know what your problem is with me but what I do know is that I would like it cleared up. Finito. This is stupid, you're walking away from our friendship and I'm getting pretty tired of trying to keep this together. I'm leaving it up to you to decide whether or not our friendship is ever going to rekindle; it's now or never. I'm leaving this door open until the end of 2009 and as soon as the clock strikes midnight, everything will be different. You know who you are.

Secret letter #2:
I miss you... That is all.

ghost

Bedridden'd Sucker

I am bedridden

I am blamed

Blamed for the natural causes of the Earth

Blamed for the lack of love in anyone's family

Blamed for bringing in bad luck to the lives of those surrounding me

Blamed for the misfortunes of others

Blamed for the "tarnishing" of the family's name

Blamed for this

Blamed for that

Blamed, blamed, blamed

I don't know how I can fix it because "sorries just aren't enough".

I tried my best, I just wanted you to love me.

ghost

It's Better If We Don't Speak At All

I've currently come down with a bad viral infection and it is really, really pissing me off. Good-bye to a healthy start to the new year.

Saturday

Both our consciousnesses begin to drift away to our own little worlds yet we still lay unmoved -side by side - with both our bodies entwined. He twitches subtly at first and I feel the pulse of his neck beat warmly on my left cheek. His quiet breathing; the air he exhales moves through my hair as if it were stroking me. He twitches much more obviously this time and wakes up in an upright position, breathing as though he'd been dragged to an open surface after drowning.

"What's wrong?" I ask gently, caressing his bare back with my hand,

"Just that dream again... Sorry" and he kisses my forehead.

We lay back down again and this time I'm the one to fall away; I don't know how long I must've been asleep. I feel his hand brush away the hair from my face and behind my ear, I crinkle my nose and I feel his soft lips against mine. I dare open my eyes, though, too afraid to look at his because that was when I began to realise that I'm really beginning to fall in love with this guy.

ghost

Love Is No Big Truth

I used to think that love was for pussies...
...And then you came along.
Then I, too, turned into a pussy,
And I have never been happier before in my life.

ghost

With You

She's the cutest thing. We spent Christmas eve drawing pictures of birds and elephants, singing Christmas songs, and playing lovely tunes on the piano.

Late-night toasted cheese sandwiches and Family Guy

I got to hear my grandma's voice today, which overwhelmed me so much that I began to cry. I love her so much, my idol and the only person I've ever learned to trust with my whole heart.

Spending Boxing Day sleeping in with the boyfriend tomorrow, shouting my whole family lunch that very same night, and performing a Boxing Day special at a local pub in Mordialloc.

I miss you.

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Can't Please Everybody

Merry Christmas everybody.

Thursday
Was quite an eventful day. The boyfriend and I spend Christmas eve together.
- Crown - eating our face off like retards at Maccas - gracefully throwing chips at each others' faces, mimicking lovely couples when they feed each other - 3D Avatar, SHIT YEAH! - raining cats and dogs "oh shit... I'm wearing thongs!" - puddle jumping with our jeans and hair dripping wet - x's in the rain - ATM machine ate his card - no way home

Friday
Was a pretty chill and laidback day. I spent 5 hours sleeping and woke up with a cold fillet-o'-fish burger in front of my face. But I do have one thing to say to that person out there, you know who you are...

If you act and say that you don't care, then why are you still tripping?

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Don't Blow Your Composure Baby

Love.
You.
I'm afraid to say it.

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So Tired Of Fighting

The funny thing about relationships is that despite being involved with someone, you're gonna end up alone in the end anyway.

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Chills

You send me chills running through my body

Shivering down my spine

Keeps me quivering for you

So happy that your mine

I'm shaken, I can't control myself cos you...

You send me chills

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Delirium, Realism

The electric blanket, the refrigerator, oxford commas, and SLR cameras;

Mankind's greatest inventions.

Cooking up an exquisite creamy mushroom and seafood pasta.

Craving some iced green tea - or oolong tea if it weren't for this warm weather.

Musically feeling Skinny Love by Bon Iver

NTS: confirm receipt of the replacement bank key card

Hates waking up before 6:30

Loves hip hop collaborations with indie acoustic (i.e., Bliss N Eso's Eye Of The Storm)

Although it's traditional to exchange gifts, it seems as though Christmas is becoming materialistic. The purpose for its celebration has lost it's meaning. To those who diss and hate on Christ and yet celebrate Christmas, I pray that the Lord forgives you for your ignorance... Sure I'll buy gifts for those in my life, but I don't want anything in return. All I ask for are your prayers, along mine, to thank the Lord for the birth of Christ.

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Angel

Thursday

I spent most of my Thursday afternoon in bed with the boyfriend; snuggling, talking, laughing, whatever. 4 hours of this until he realised he was late for work. I was fixing his bed sheets while scavenging the room for his missing shorts, and he was playing Prince Charming by putting my shoes on for me while spraying his stupid cologne on me cos I apparently "smell(ed) like shit".

He was already late and insisted me to teach him some dance moves and as stubborn as he was, he wouldn't leave unless I taught him. We were arguing about this for a good 10 minutes until I gave in and taught him how to do the rhumba. We left his room to drive off to our next destination but then realised his dad had taken his car for a spin to the shops. Waiting to kill the time, we were giving each other piggybacks and what-not until his dad returned and insisted on having me over for lunchinner with the family. Already late, we had to leave even though I felt rude by not accepting. He drifted corners in the rain and dropped me off at the train station.

I wish I spent every Thursday doing this.

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Birds Of Tokyo

These butterflies won't quit buzzing and I can't fall asleep,
It's 'cause they know it's a matter of hours until I see you again.

Gobbledigook - Sigur Rós
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Ecstasy

Can't hold it back, you know I'm so addicted to you
Cravings attack whenever I get closer to you
I'm in withdrawl whenever you're away
I just want you here with me boy
Let's take a ride, I'll show you all the avenues
Hop in my coupe, I only got a room for two
Let's just explore and my only destination is you
I'll tell you what I want to do baby...

One more sleep...
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Daydreamin'

Cupid shot me

In New York,
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
There's nothing you can't do.
Now you're in New York,
These streets will make you feel brand new,
Big lights will inspire you.
Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York...

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Empire State Of Mind

To the sucker who locked himself in the back boot of his own car and threw me the keys while yelling out "Drive!" with the biggest grin on his face...

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The Ugly Truth

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You The Best I Ever Had

I think I've just fallen unconditionally and irrevocably in love in a song.

While you are away, my heart comes undone
Slowly unravels in a ball of yarn,
The devil collects it with a grin,
Our love in a ball of yarn; he'll never return it.
So when you come back, we'll have to make new love.
- Unravel by Björk
_________________________________

"Pretend that... You are like a plate of expensive china. You're beautiful and priceless in every way, but, you've slipped right through her fingers and you've been shattered into countless pieces. So here I am, trying to superglue you back together as best I could, but you'll never be the same."

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See, I Had It All, But It Doesn't Mean Anything...

Tonight was the longest night, ever.
Whoever said that "nobody changes overnight" has yet to experience life.
I'm too afraid to let you into my life.
I have so much to write but so little time.
I never meant to hurt anyone.
Modesty is the best policy; it's best to keep my mouth shut.
I promise to nourish and lovingly maintain this faith-driven life.
My mind is all over the place.
My love is all over the place.

To avoid pain, avoid love.

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Night Terror

It was by far the worst nightmare I have ever had.

Nobody died, not one living body suffered;

And the boogeyman made no appearance;

I didn't fall or jump off any roaring, high cliffs;

And I was not alone...

It was your voice which I heard that sent me into traumatic fits of sorrow and despair.

I'm too afraid to sleep in fear of hearing that sweet, gentle voice of yours.

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It's Sucha Heavenly Way To Die

Quietly I stir in my sleep and listen to the machine of my laptop hum and buzz in the darkness of my room, with artificial light blindly illuminating and emitting from the screen. That familiar MSN tone alerts me and I stir some more. I groan and grunt, and the more I grunt and groan, the faster the tone alerts. That stupid chime rings not only from the speakers of the laptop, but it painfully tickles my brain.
Tickle. Tickle. Scratch.
“do u mind if i call u now?”
Yes, I do mind.
“plz answer....”
No.
“gee....”
...
“ok whateva im calling now”

I set my phone to silent, sincerely hoping not to hear any rings. The next morning I awake and check the number of missed calls on my phone.
0, I thought so. I didn’t even give you my number.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths
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Arcade Fire

Children wake up,
Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causing rain storms,
Turning every good thing to rust.

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Weak

Don't get me wrong, I could definitely live without you.
And with that, I would do just fine.

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SWEET

DISPOSITION


I don't know what to write these days.

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She's A Mystery

Today was the beginning of senior year.

I refuse to let my girls and myself be played;

I'm the one who makes sure the players get played.

I'm setting myself in stone.

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Dreamer

I have too much fun when I'm with you and...
I'm beginning to think that it's wrong.

Happy birthday little brother.

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Michael

I finally get to see you tomorrow,
After a month and a half.
Yay :)

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Damn You Look So Good, It Hurts Me

I told myself not to get too close to the flame;
I couldn't help it, you're just too beautiful.
And because of that, I'm burnt.
And it stings.

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Doesn't Mean Anything

I've found closure,
I don't think I've been this free and happy in a very long time.

I found this really beautiful song on YouTube today

Now I really wanna buy her album, Doesn't Mean Anything.

I really should get back to studying:

( ) adv gen. maths

( ) methods

( ) history

And fuck chemistry, I'm not studying for that :)

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6 Hours And 35 Minutes Until My English Exam

I'm not an addict, maybe, that's a lie.

2 years.
I never knew why you left, until tonight.
Maybe it might be too late to fix things.
Maybe it definitely is too late to fix things.
Maybe I should stop crying tonight so then, my heart'll stop throbbing from the unnecessary pain.

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DESTRUCTIVE

Breath it in and breath it out and pass it on, it's almost out.
We're so creative and so much more; we're high above, but on the floor.
It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive;
If you don't have it you're on the other side.
I'm not an addict, maybe that's a lie.
The deeper you stick it in your vein, the deeper the thoughts;
There's no more pain.
I'm in heaven, I'm a God, I'm everywhere; I feel so hot, It's over now.
I'm cold, alone; I'm just a person on my own.
Nothing means a thing to me, oh, nothing means a thing to me.
Free me, leave me; watch me as I'm going down.
Free me, see me; look at me I'm falling and I'm falling.

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Wanna Know What I'm Feeling Doctor? I'm Feeling A Fucking ZERO.

FUCKIDNGDHFIDHFDH USED ME AND SHIT FUCKING MAKE AFUCKING PROFIT OUT OF MY FAMILY. FUCKING WITH YOU I'VE LOST RESPECT,M TRUST, LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP. FUCKING I'M NOT GONNA REVEAL WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE UNLIKE YOU, I HAVE FUCKING DIGNITY AND MORALE.
I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR SO LONG AND YOU TAKE A FAT SHIT ON MY LIFE LIKE THIS. THAT'S IT, FUCK YOU FOREVER.

Black And Gold

I looked up into the night sky and see a thousand eyes staring back.
And all around these golden beacons, I see nothing but black.
I feel a way of something beyond them, I don't see what I can feel.
If vision is the only validation then most of my life isn't real.
'Cause if you're not really here, then the stars don't even matter.
Now I'm filled to the top with fear but it's all just a bunch of matter.
'Cause if you're not really here, then I don't want to be either,
I wanna be next to you.

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I'll Be Just Fine Pretending I'm Not

I would rather lose you than lose myself.

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Ouch

You know I'm always there for you,
Even though you don't share the same concern for me.

I don't want to leave,
but one day I will.
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We Are Hummingbirds Who All Just Know

I'm sorry, I know you can't help it but...
I just can't stand people who snore! :(

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Fantasies, Metric

This is my game face.

I'm taking a well-deserved break (cough-procrastinating more like) from my intense IT 3/4 exam-cram. I bought a jumbo 2L bottle of soy milk and some of that gummy sesame seed and peanut thing from KFL St Albans. That is guaranteed brain-food, ladies and gentlemen. Fuck omega 3!

Things to remember:

- Let's place tomorrow @ 7 to buy dresses

- Optometrist appointment this Sunday @ 1:20pm

- Meriam & Rob's kid's christening this Sunday @ 5 (important life-saving note-to-self: run & hide from the dreaded ex... Wear a moustache)

- INTENSE STUDYING FROM THIS THURS EVENING TILL NEXT WED EVENING

- Bitchin' (beach) it out with Niz next Fri

Good mood today.

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They Say "Let... Us... Be Heard."

I'm not motivated enough.

Fuck exams.

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An Epidemic; The Crisis of Our Time

You, the pretender, and I, the pretender, are together - supposedly in like. But is this suppressed affection between two pretenders pretentious too?
We're a dead end.
I can hear the scorching sun's hums of heat blister through the drums of my ears, and the smell of dry, thirsty weeds at the end of the no through road.

One of the many little lessons life has to offer us: a lot of people don't really give two shits about how your day went unless it's got juice. Ouch, isn't it?
Happiness takes quadriple the effort to satisfy; it takes disappointment the snap of two fingers to contaminate every nerve and vein in your body.

I don't need it.
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400th Post

I... Don't feel like sticking around for very long.
Goodnight, I say, only until the sun decides to shine for me.

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Tartar Matyr

I pace myself around the room, walking aimlessly. My heart flutters as I click to read the received text message only to be disappointed by those blunt, uncaring words you know all too well to say to me. "Cbf and shit." I didn't realise how three words and a full stop could shatter a tower of hopes. Not again, I think to myself.

It's been 19 long days since I've seen you, and it's going to be another 23 more days until I see you again.
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The Church Of What's Happening Now

I close my eyes and slowly drift away from consciousness as he begins to trace delicate circles on my shoulder. Airily he whispers "Beautiful... Beautiful..." over and over while his lips caress my forehead; his warm breath evaporated into sweet drops against my forehead. He assumes I'm asleep and away in my own world until I sigh and begin to speak with my eyes closed as I falter away from his touch to turn my body away from his, "Quit lying."

Just little snapshots I write before I go to bed.
I played the PVA-glue-our-hands-together game with my brother.
He also taught me how to straighten my hair... Which is a bit odd.

I need to hear from you at least once
Just to know you're still alive.
I hate the week-long silences;
I need closure.
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Sweet Potato

He brushes thoroughly
He know she likes fresh breath
He rushes to the station
He waits atop the steps
He's brought with him a mars bar
She will not buy nestle
And later he'll perform
A love-lorn serenade, a trade
How can she become the psychic that she longs to be to understand you?

Sweet Potato by Sia

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I Walk The Streets To Stop My Weeping But He'll Never Change His Ways

On my bed I lay for hours crouched into foetal position. My hands fisted at my chest; any sudden movement would make me rip my own heart out. Away from my body, I lift my head up - singing to the ceiling, and through to the night sky. I sing in tune with sadness and sorrow; the rivers of despair trailing down my soft, flushed cheeks.

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Life, My Child, Happens

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Amazing Grace

I am new.

'Tis the new hairdo. :)

Hallowe'en party tonight.
I went on a crazy CD-shopping-spree and bought 6 CDs for buy-2-get-1-free at $10 each at JB Hifi Watergay's. I'm astounded at the fantastic album choices.
I bought: John Mayer's Continuum,
Rage Against The Machine's The Battle of Los Angeles,
Jeff Buckley's Grace,
The Killers' Hot Fuss,
SIA's Colour The Small One,
and Kings of Leon's Because of The Times.
BUT there were a lot more that I wanted to buy like:
Nine Inch Nails' The Downward Spiral,
Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road,
Pearl Jam's Rearview Mirror,
Marilyn Manson's Lest We Forget (The Best Of),
and sooooo much more. Better save up :)

I feel like whole other person.
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Taurus

Yesterday (being Friday), I made an impulsive decision to chop off a large and reasonable amount of hair.
I'm very pleased. :)

If only happiness like this lasted longer than it normally lasts with me.
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Maybe I'm Just Tired

I am scared.
I am confused.
I am alone.
I am lonely.
I am brittle.
I have your cold, skinny fingers.
They remind me of you whenever I look down at them.
I want to saw my hands off, just so I'd never have to see them again.
I am insane.
I am terrified.
I am not expecting.
I am traumatised.
I am apologetic.
I am absent-minded.
I am insomniac.
I am wilted.
I am jilted.
I am the responsibility nobody wants.
I am heartbroken.
I am not who I think I am.
I am tired.
I am everything. I am everything, all at once.

I am suffering, heavily.
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Honey, Come On Home

I am underconfident.

I will cry to my music.
Whether or not I am seated in a crowded 6 seater on a Connex train surrounded by
- 3 Pakistani men wearing matching Armani Exchange denim pants, jackets and Ferrari perfume
- an environmental business man with a receeding hairline, struggling to keep a straight face during the intensity of his mid-life crisis
- and an old Chinese woman with beautiful silver hair, lapping wrinkles and leek-and-durian-reeking plastic bags

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too observant or just too bored.

But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me just how I should feel today.

Well maybe I'm just tired, tired of never knowing.

'Cause I have found all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade.

It's throbbed for too long, I don't know what I want from you.
Keep talking cryptic love, no one will notice.
I will never want a husband to love me,
Nor will I want children to share this unconditional love with.
I don't ever want a family.
I don't ever want love.
It's just a four letter word, I don't believe it means anything.
I am a pessimist-though-try-hard-optimist dating another pessimist, just 'cause we get along like that.
"LOVE" IS FOR FOOLS THAT FALL BEHIND.

It's been way too long.
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Shimmer

She says that love is for fools that fall behind.
Shimmer by Fuel

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Ipso Facto

LookBook
The Sartorialist
Sex And Coffee

Websites that are worth your time.
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Vogue, Hendrix & Chai

Sorry about the lagging entries lately, ladies.
Been busy with multiple things, but you don't want to hear it.

I look at myself from the outside and I can't seem to figure out who I am. I am estranged from myself and that makes me wonder what goes through my mind. 'Mysterious', I think - I contemplate. I continue to linger.

I am currently eating the sour cream and chives flavoured Grain Waves chips that my best friend's mum bought for me to eat. I'm currently eating it to be polite, trying not to show her that eating anything makes me want to vomit.

I like my boyfriend, he doesn't hover.
He doesn't ask me personal questions, nor does he dwell.
Instead he makes the day happy between us; laughing to forget who we are.
We'll show the world that relationships can last without the physical and verbal affection.

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Soviet Kitsch

I am indecisive.

Album: Soviet Kitsch / artist: Regina Spektor

I began my day with the usual; wake up late, arrive to school late, come home late...r than usual time. In english we listened to some Avenue Q (a more... Explicit version of Sesame Street which deals with everyday issues such as racism, sex, etc. through musical puppets), Backstreet Boys, Aqua, the Vengaboys and the Beatles. We were all basically taking a trip down memory lane.

My point is that by listening to the Beatles made me want to buy their album after school, and so I did. I really liked the album covers of most of the Beatles' albums, but I picked the album that had my favourite song (Strawberry Fields Forever) on it: Magical Mystery Tour. I bought that, a $20 iTunes card, and all this other shit that cost me a total of $150+. The rest were necessities, I can assure you.

I got home and while listening to the new CD I bought, I took a shower, painted my toenails earth and metal colour, chillaxed, ate some ice cream and read a bit more of The Secret Life Of Bees and the free JB Hi-Fi mag called 'mag'. I swear to you that I absolutely love reading the music reviews written in this magazine and all the other feature articles. Love, love, love.

Well anyway, I spent the rest of my night legally downloading music. I'm addicted to legal downloads and I don't know if that's a normal case. They have much, much better quality than most of the shit-quality songs you illegally download. Plus, it makes you feel good about it. Oh for fuck's sake, the iTunes store is more addictive than heroin.

I don't know if I mentioned this but I love album art. I began Google-ing the album art/covers for all my albums and songs on iTunes and I got really carried away. I've been doing the whole album art thing for a while, so I decided to post up 4 of my favourites. :)

Album: Such Great Heights / artist: Iron & Wine

Album: Myths Of The Near Future / artist: Klaxons

Album: Intimacy / artist: Bloc Party

Growing more and more paranoid everyday.
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Revive

I am a party bag mix of emotions.

Today was great.
Hung out with Khoi, Lee, Mya, Jason, Kevin and some other guy in the early afternoon.
Went to MMA for Revive. Geeeeeez, there were a lot of people I knew than I had initially expected.
Saw Michael and talked for agesssssss about things we wer supposed to talk about.
I miss him tonight
Celebrated the Ellusive success in Sante at Crown.
It was truly the funniest dinner I have ever had.
One of my fave moments would have to be the ugly photoshoot with Karl. "No, no. Take another photo, it's not ugly enough!!!"
Photowhored for the rest of the night. Met Sylvia and Angela
Karnhy and Den and Angela came to chill with us.
Twas a fine night.

Act your age. I'll be a teenager if I want to.
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But Those Drugs Won't Make You Feel Better

I am torn.

Caught in between what I want to do and what I should do.

I really wish I didn't have to do this.

5 more sleeps until.

Something's obviously wrong; it's not me, it's you.

Winter has decided to play the jealousy game,

Winter is the unloved first born child.

Summer is the new born baby, the world's shiny new toy.

We've been paying too much attention to the warmer seasons.

Winter cries and cries, becoming colder and colder

Turning its tears into ice, its sorrows falter against the skin of the earth.

Short blog for today, I'm too damn sad to give a fuck.

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So Into You

I am contemplative.

YFC S.O.A.R. Camp was uplifting and gggrrreeeaaattt. I really enjoyed my time with the other fellow YFC-ers. A lot happened, but it's a good experience. I left for home on Sunday at 3pm and slept the whole way there and konked out at home until 10pm. So all in all, it was a 7 hour lion-nap.

I didn't go to school today, my parents allowed my brother and I to have a day off. The following is a series of not-so-orderly events:
+ 8:30: doctor's appointment with Dr Suma
+ Commonwealth bank (waterg's) played that game with caged space animals on the eyetoy
+ Made our way to Harbourtown as a family
+ Shopped and bought myself a pair of kicks (as pictured above)
+ Left alone to meet up with Niz at MC (I actually made my way to Bourke St until I called)
+ Called and the dickface turned out to be at fckin' Harbourtown waiting for me (LOSER MUCH?)
+ Decided to meet in Victoria St in front of MMA instead
+ I get to MMA and the putangina vagina decides to be funny by hiding in his car and not answering my calls. "Where the fuck are you?"
+ I hop into his gaymobile and go on an impulsive outing
+ First fckin' idea: Let's play CS at Cydus
+ Fully got pwned hxc mangz0rs
+ Second plan: go to Highpoint
+ We were there for like 10 minutes until he decides to go Williamstown
+ We wing our way to Williamstown and eat ice cream near the piers
+ "IIIIIIII LOVEEEEEE THIS SONG!!!!!!!" and we both badly sing to So Into You - Tamia
+ Make our way home, buttttt... he doesn't know how to get to Watergangster's from Willy OR Foots OR Sunshine
+ WE GET LOST FOR AGES "JUST KEEP GOING STRAIGHT. JUST KEEP GOING STRAIGHT!!!"
+ Finally get to a familiar road in Ardeer and we almost crash into a bus
+ We tell our life stories
+ While at the stop lights, the fob bus driver chucks a phat at Niz and full slaps his car "GO BAHK TOO SKOOL YOO DEEK-HED"
+ "I'm sorry but... I couldn't take that guy seriously"
+ We talk and D&M for ages until we reach Watergay's
+ Finally get there, say our ciao's and sayonara's
+ Met up with Morris at the library
+ Met up with Markus at his work! N'aw, and I bought two of those remote control cars off him
+ My family were at Watergee's so I hitch the ride home with them
+ Attempt to do my english expository piece on abortion
+ Currently half-way with the homework

I refuse to put up with this
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YFC S.O.A.R. Camp

I am stoked.

Photowhoring before I leave?

If I haven't posted anything up until Sunday evening, it's 'cause I'm at youth camp. YFC, YY-FC-FC!

Pslam 23 (A psalm of David)
"The Lord is my shepard, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down on green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the balley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever."

"I'm alive and I am free... But you see, I have no control over me."
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Dark Zone

I am alright.

Had work at 3:30pm, stressful shit.
I had to do Head Assistant training, ffs.
Left at 4:50 to go Dark Zone in Scumshine. Hoooo shieeeee
We played like 6 games, but I got pretty tired after the second game.
My highest was 12th out of 31 players. I was pretty pleased with myself...
...Though not compared to Jason with 1st, Karnhy on 2nd and my bro on 3rd!
Twas good fun though, I'll try to upload a coupla photoz...
...
...
...
...When I'm not capped. (L)

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Bass-Clap, Bass... Bass-Clap

I am absent-minded.

It don't matter 'cos I have no sex life
And all I want to do now is inject my ex-wife

OHAI!
I don't really know what to say.
"Frustrated fireworks inside my head"
My brother just bought The Bake Sale album by The Cool Kids.
Dad: "What kind of music is that?"
Ginx: "Um... Black people music."

__________________________________________

It's Christmas time, and the needles on the tree
A skinny Santa is bringing something to me

His voice is overwhelming, but his speech is slurred

And I only understand every other word

Poetry and lyrics at its finest.
Elliott Smith, if only you didn't stab yourself to death.
__________________________________________

Every night I'd pray that you'd try harder.

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POETRY

I am impulsive.

I try to feel confident, I'm bitter - You're not making sense.

I missed you 'til you almost took my sanity, I started a new verse like poetry; you're hiding behind the words you speak, changing the words of the story.

Poetry by Danity Kane

Shrink at 12:30
Bad news. Bad, bad news
Caesar salad (w/out the chicken) for lunch, yum yum
Episode in the shower
Work till 7
Movie rentals, ooh la la
17 Again, Fired Up and The Boy In Striped Pyjamas
ALL VERY GOOD MOVIES
Therefore I noticed that I didn't want to sleep in either movie...
...However while watching TBISP, I had this really huge, impulsive urge to wash my hair and cut my fringe
Like it was so bad, I kept twitching
S-s-strrrrrange much?
So after the movie, I showered and cut my fringe (as above)
So much for growing it out!
It looks fine I guess.

____________________________________________

I'm feeling much better than I did this morning.
The more I decide to leave, the more I want to stay.
____________________________________________

I can't believe it took me this long to realize that... ZAC EFRON IS A FKN HOT PIECE OF ASS. Yum yum
...And is it just me or is guy-on-guy action a major turn-on?

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