Halloween

bonfires burning bright
pumpkin faces in the night
i remember halloween
dead cats hanging from poles
little dead are out in droves
i remember halloween
brown leaved vertigo
where skeletal life is known
i remember halloween this day
anything goes
burning bodies hanging from poles
i remember halloween
halloween, halloween, halloween, halloween
candy apples and razor blades
little dead are soon in graves
i remember halloween
this day anything goes
burning bodies hanging from poles
i remember halloween, halloween

Mum: "So what are you kids dressing up as for halloween?"
Bonez: "I'm going as a stoner."

Happy halloween.

Halloween by The Misfits

Dreams And Teen Drinking

Dreams, like movies in my head.

I've been having these dreams lately, in the heat of my room. In the sickness of my health, and in my desire to remove this physical loneliness.

The dreams are like movies. Like movies I could replay over and over, add parts to, remove parts to - only when I'm half awake and conscious. But I can't exactly play editor/director to these dream-like movies, my subconscious automatically takes over when I'm knocked out with sleep.

I've missed out on two days of school and I'm wondering what I've missed. I have my finals soon and I need to study hardcore. I have a group SAC due in today; the others in the group are professional procrastinators and they were dependent on me. Thank divinity, no marks are deducted on punctuality.

It's Melbourne Cup weekend, so this means extra long weekend. Woohoo! I've had two days off, so my weekend was tripled. I've gotten my close-friend to chip in $10 for me (for Khoi's get-smashed party on Sunday), which reminds me that I have to pay him back. I also have to buy Ambrose his birthday present. I'll get him a funny card, it's always the thought that counts.

This leads me to a new topic: teenagers OD-ing on booze.
When I say that I'm not the biggest fan of getting fucked/smashed/plastered on alcohol, then I'm not the biggest fan of getting shitfaced on alcohol. If I were to drink alcohol, I wouldn't be a fuckhead about it. I would drink a reasonable amount and prefer to keep my sanity. Cool and casual. So you kids who like to lose yourself when consuming no-good drinks, do it and see what people think about you the next day. If they even want to see you the next day.

Stay cool, don't act a fool.

Band of the day: Anberlin

Crushhhhhed

I can't feel it anymore,
It left when you did.

I really can't be bothered anymore, I've become so tired and I'm allergic to everything that moves. Its only Wednesday and I cannot be fucked. I have work tomorrow, piano the day after, and work again the day after... I want to cry.
I know that it doesn't seem like much, but at times like these, I just want to sleep for a very, very long time.

It's Been 1 Year, 1 Month, 1 Day

And I'm still feeling the same.
But I've loosened up my ties... everyone can be free that way.

I've lost the will and urge to write proper blogs about my life now, I don't think my blogs seem to exceed a 100 word limit (exaggeration).

My brother is wrestling upstairs, shaking these lights which hover thinly over my poor skull. I've just cut my fringe myself with stationery scissors, it's much shorter now. All my work is done, I've watched every movie I own (at least 10 times each), I've read every book I own (thrice, might I add), computer games and video games... Let's just leave it at that. I rarely get free time like this, and secretly, I wish my phone would just magically ring.

I have to somehow get $10 to my friend by Friday (I'll note that I haven't seen him since July), to buy the booze for his party on Saturday. I'm saving up for Christmas, and I want to be able to give/make everyone presents this year. Maybe a card, but its always the thought that counts. So that leaves me no spare money for cigs and caffeine.

Life is dull sometimes, but it's only temporary. Right?

Ring, ring, ring!

The Garden

Look
Oh oh i really wanted that thing
I just want to sing
I love you baby
Won't you bring
All the flowers you
Find out in the garden
Don't tell me the truth
That your heart has hardened
Look what you've done to me
Oh oh the bee does quickly sting
I was wondering
If you could maybe darling
Think? I'd give everything
If you'd grant my love a pardon
And all the fruits
Again would fill the garden
But you don't want me anymore
How can it be?

My Favourite Girl

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

'Cause we like to have night-time cat naps in the middle of the road on a warm Saturday night underneath a one-star night sky.
'Cause we like setting the camera on 10sec timer to take autoflash pictures of our proud triple chins. Not caring how ridiculous we look.
'Cause we like to laugh and talk about our primary school days together on the cool concreted driveway.
'Cause we like knowing we can do all this in just one night, and in many nights to come.

She's my bestfriend for life.

1, 2, 3, and 4

The enemy, of my enemy, is my friend.

X: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Z: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Moving Mountains

"'Cause we will never be the same;
I've been standing in gas, and you have been the flame."

Spring/Summer of '07.

Time Consuming

Chill the fuck out,

Your petty fights are so time consuming.

Have you noticed? You have no life.

Ventrilo

Lukey, John, Geraden, Angus and Anthony
This is my cyber apology to you five great men stooges. I'm sorry to shatter your night by being unable to install Ventrilo. I promise I will somehow find my way into the Admin and get a new mic. And from there on, I promise we will have beautiful, memorable, verbal brawls.

For the love of computers...

Bonez.

Alice Practice

scars, will heal, soon,
this drug in us, spins the earth, down.
better, it surely, i don't follow,
said,
i live low,
alice attack.
children shouldn't play with dead things,
only crawl,
so your lonely sad eyes,
cry crimson,
blood.
drop it, it's dead,
we dropped down, and took the body home.
sad eyes.
scars, like chopping daggers
see you'll never walk
only stagger.
sad eyes, cry crimson, blood

alice practice
alice practice
alice practice
alice practice
alice practice
alice practice
alice practice

Horndog

"Wanna come to a club where
people wee on eachother?"

I fly like paper, get high like planes. If you catch me at the border, I got visas in my name. If you come around here, I make 'em all day. I get one down in a second if you wait. Sometimes I think sitting on trains, every stop I get to I'm clocking that game. Everyone's a winner, now we're making that fame. Bonafide hustler making my name. Pirate skulls and bones, sticks and stones and weed and bongs. Running when we hit 'em, lethal poison through their system. No one on the corner has swagger like us, hit me on my Burner prepaid wireless. We pack and deliver like UPS trucks, already going hell just pumping that gas.
All I wanna do is BANG BANG BANG BANG
And KKKAAAA CHING!
And take your money.
(Paper Planes, by M.I.A.)

I lost you once.
I think I can do it again.
Love you, love Bonez.

Bonez

...has a really bad caffeine addiction.

Seems like a good day for a survey.
Is your mirror clean? Apart from all the drawings on my mirrors, yes
Do use tissues or a handkerchief? Tissues, handkerchieves are nasty
Weapon of choice? Army tank, and Chuck Norris
Do you throw your candy wrappers away? I keep the cool looking ones
Are you a litterbug? The only littering I do is put gum under tables/chairs/peoples' locks and zips
Do you like poison? Why would I like poison?
Last time you went to the beach? SATURDAY
Story behind your default? Passport photo, aha nah
Last time you cried? Ages ago
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Lol @ chu
Have you ever cried over the opposite sex? Am I meant to?
Who makes you cry most often? The Love Guru, 'cause that's the funniest movie in the world
Do you cry when you're happy? No? Dude, that's like crying during sex
Do you cry when you get an injury? Nah
Do you cry when you are scared? No, I just whine a lot
Have you ever cried during a movie? Aha, especially in Click man
Do certain songs make you cry? What? No
Are you crying right now? Whathefuck no, what's with all these crying questions? Are you sad or something?
Dark Chocolate or White Chocolate? Dark chocolate tastes like gun powder. So I'd go with the white chocolate
Do you have more guy or girl friends? I don't count my friends
Have you ever stayed up all night? Not completely, I give in easily
Do you like taking walks in the rain? No, who likes that? Your chances of contracting a virus and disease grows much higher
Do you play an instrument? Piano, I call her "My Wang". So when people ask me what I'm doing tonight, I say "I'm playing with My Wang"
Are you emo/gothic/punk? Are you a cow?
Played video games till the sun came up? Um, I have a life. I know people who have though, not to name anyone in particular Jake
Told someone the story of your life? Why would I do that? My life's not that interesting
Eaten calf brains? No, I've dissected a sheep's brain before though
Swam in the ocean? No, there's generations of sewerage and hepatitis in there
Held a baby farm animal? Ooh yeah, freshly squeezed spawn
Is there something you want to say to/ask someone? "Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me". Ahahahahaha, I just want to say it 'cause its funny
What's the last thing you said out loud? "AHAHAHAHAHAA", really loudly
Do you have a cat? My neighbour has a cat named Leo, but I like to think that we share him
Are you talking to anyone? Jon, Kevin and Thea
How many windows do you have open? 8
Are you logged into an instant messanger? Yeah
Are you cold? No, but my feet have pins and needles
Are you drinking? Lots and lots of caffeine
Are you wearing jeans? I'm wearing red pants
Do you have a song stuck in your head? New Soul by Yael Naïm
Is your MySpace set to private? Yeah
If so, who are you hiding it from? Weirdos and ex-boyfriends
Would you like to learn how to pole dance? I'd rather learn how to knit and shit
Do you currently have any bruises on your body? Yeah, my knees and arms 'cause Rowan hugs me too tight and that's absolutely possible
Are you wearing a bandaid? I'm allergic to bandaids. Want me to die? (Rhetorical question)
Did you enjoy your last kiss? Huh? It's like asking me if I enjoy being naked in the middle of a windy highway
Have you ever had feelings for a friends partner? No, never
Which of your friends has the coolest job? What is it? My aunty critiques shoes for a living and gets to keep them. Lucky bitch
When was the last time you got totally wasted? Last, last Tuesday
What superstitions do you believe in? I have shitloads
What chore do you hate doing most? Getting the mail
Who do you live with? Margarita and Gian
Do you have a wall up around your heart? I have veins around my heart. What kinda weirdo has a wall? (Rhetorical question)
Do you own any guns? I have a gun in my pants
Who did you last tell all your problems too? My mum gets it out of me somehow
What did you tell them? I'm pregnant
Do you take a daily vitamin or medication? Used to
Are you addicted to anything? Caffeine

Love you, love Bonez.

Sea-Chop-Knee-Foot-Timbuktu

Primary school,
The days where the only games we played were hand-clapping games, skipping, Pokémon trading cards, Gameboy Colour, chasey, hide-and-seek, 'tiggy', 40-40 and everything didn't matter.
The days where we called 'sex' the 'S' word, and 'vagina' and 'penis' were funny words.
The days where boys would only hurt girls by accidentally kicking a ball to their faces, and by declining them the opportunity to join in their 'boys only' games.
The days where a boy would express their infatuation for a girl by bullying them.
The days where hugging would be the farthest thing you would do when you were 'going out' with someone, and kissing seemed like sex.
The days where we try to act older than we should.
The days when our parents were 100% involved with our lives.

Shoutouts to Matthew, Leanne and the girls.

So With The Angst Of A Teenage Band

And so I'm moving to New York 'cause I've got troubles with my sleep.

(Moving To New York by The Wombats)

I don't have much to write about today, writer's block. But I do want to type something. It's gotta be there somewhere...

Today was a good day, I guess, but I'm tired to the bone. Mum and I have started putting up the Christmas decorations.

I like listening to others and their stories about love, life, their misfortunes, etc. I take an interest when someone tells me something. It gives me more of an insight to their personal character and it's fascinating. I love listening to anyone. Whether it'd be them bitching, spilling their heart out or describing every waking second of their life... I can't get enough of it.

Shout outs to Jamie, Dax, Leanne, Jon & Kev.
Love you, love Bonez.

A Spoonful Of Sugar

...Gives you diabetes.
Eat it, AND DIE.

No, eat all the sugar in the world - if you want. No-one's gonna stop you. Unless you're diabetic and your physician's got you on lockdown.

It's Monday,
And the time is 10:37pm. My right leg is growing numb, I don't know about my left one 'cause I can't feel it at all. My imaginary frostbite is overcoming my feet and I really need to study for my test tomorrow. I've sucked in too much helium and drank more-than-enough energy drinks. Once again, my heart is mangled - it's one of those days again.

It's been a little over 7 months, and it's still throbbing. Dear heart, I pray for you.

Topic numero dos: Aliases.
Apart from adrenaline-rushing rollercoasters, painful bunjee wedgies, 'in-my-dreams-have-I-gone' sky-diving and dangerous cave exploring; I find the idea of aliases and different identities absolutely thrill-seeking. I could only wish that my name was really Bonez, but it's not. I could only wish that my age is 279, but it's not. I could only wish that Paolo Nutini was my husband, but he's not... yet.

I don't know how to close this entry, so here's something awkward:
Did you just fart? 'Cause you blew me away.

American Gangster

Good movie.

Go watch it if you haven't already.

The girls and I went to Williamstown beach on Saturday, and we stayed until late.

Gelati, playgrounds and Thai food. You name it. Well it's been fun. I love you girls.


I said "Ooh girl, shock me like an electric eel.
Baby girl, turn me on with your electric feel."

Song of the week.

Love you, love Bonez.

Breakfast At Tiffany's

I just feel that we are in the same room,

But livin' two worlds apart.

It's Friday today, always an exciting day of the week - apart from Sunday. I don't want to talk to the two fellows I've been chattering on about in my previous blogs. At all. Not anymore. Yes, there were two. There's him, and there's him. It's confusing I know but I refuse to go into any more intimate details (well, not intimate. I just put the word there for the sake of it) because after all, this is the internet.

Anyway, today I bumped into this boy. I've known him for a while now, we also have history together. We didn't talk for 2 years, even though we saw each other recently and constantly throughout weeks and weeks in that space of time. We had a little fallout 2 years ago. I won't go into the gory details. He suddenly came up to me today, just walking side by side. I was more than surprised. The first words he uttered were, "Hey... I'm sorr-" and before he could say anymore, I replied "Hey! Don't be sorry, I'm the one who should be sorry. You never did anything wrong. Happy birthday."

Your love is like last year.
It's over, it's done.

Don't fret, I'll be up and running with the Nan Witcomb quotes soon!

Stuttering

I don't even know if I can even be me,
'Cause it's so hard to be me when you're next to me.
If I could say so, I'd say what I'm feeling.
But I can say so, my lips just tremble.
I'm stuttering, oh oh oh oh oh...

I'm like, in love with this song.
It's called: Stuttering by Mario Barrett.
If you don't have it yet, GO AND DOWNLOAD IT OR I'LL SPAM YOU.
I didn't like it at first, I thought it was another one of those house/R&B songs. It didn't interest me at all. UNTIL ONE FAITHFUL DAY (which was today)... I felt the sudden urge to play this song. And throughout the whole 2 periods of Methods class (which is approx. 1 hour and 40 minutes), that was the only song I managed to listen to.

After, I went to work, and I felt an even more sudden urge to sing it aloud. I had the song stuck in my head for the rest of the day! Though more earlier, I had an even more annoying song stuck in my head, which I sang throughout Chemistry. It was an old song, I don't even remember what it was.

I saw him today, and I didn't want to talk to him in person. His mum was around. We talked on the phone after I saw him though. Let me just note everyone out there, I truly hate it when people don't take me seriously. I'm a person too, not fucking Monkey Magic. I have feelings too. Back to the point, we had this really big argument, this is how it went:

Dax: Everything's wrong with you. Every decision you make is wrong. You can't do anything right.
Bonez: Thank you.

Anyway, point of this blog:
DOWNLOAD THE FRIGGIN' SONG.
If you don't like it, it'll grow on you somehow. Either by sudden urge or repeated listening.

29 days until the Formal!

Roleplay

A scene from The Notebook.
Yes, cliché.
Bonez: "You arrogant son of a bitch."

Dax: "Would you just stay with me?"
Bonez: "Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'"
Dax: "Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing."
Bonez: "So what?"
Dax: "So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day... I lost you once, I think I can do it again."

Despite the way we used to be, you're my bestfriend for life.

(Picture dated June 19th 2007)

Love you, love Bonez.

Incongruent Juxtaposition

Loneliness
is being with you -
when you are thinking
of someone else -
~ Nan Witcomb

Usual day today.
I hold close the fact that my inner self is well masked and hidden, playing the role of a clown, pretending there's nothing going on at all within these gridiron walls I call my 'head'. I'm coping quite well with life, although loneliness is the only hinder obliterating the rest of my optimising senses. I could cry, but it would be completely pointless to.

Juxtaposition your heart and mine, what do you see? Incongruence. Impossibility.
I'm fighting with myself, not to give into hurtful temptation. I'm avoiding you, any and everything that I know is of your certainty. Because if I did, all the time and hard work I put back into redeeming myself would come crashing back down. I would explain what all this means, but I'm getting fairly tired of it all.

I guess it's a good thing my daily blogs are becoming a habit. I know that nobody reads this, but this is for mine own benefit. After this I'll be downloading music, I've got my IT SAC to do, and my Legal homework. I got 35 out of 50 (A) for my Programming SAC, considering how bad I did in that. I should've put in a little more effort, but I guess it's a little late now.

I'm currently reading 3 books:
- How To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
- The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
- Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
I'm reading 3 books at the moment because I started reading How To Kill A Mockingbird at a friend's place while I was waiting for her to get dressed. I managed to reach chapter 4. With The Lovely Bones, it was my bestfriend's book which I was reading on the way to Adelaide. I got up to chapter 7. I own Wuthering Heights, and I'm currently broke. So I can't buy any those other 2 books to finish their stories.

Pocketful Of Dreams

I chose this way -

no-one beside me

to share the night

or find the day -

eating alone in restaurants,

reading books I've read before,

smilingly declining

to join dancers on the floor -

my eyes upon the pages,

my mind somewhere beyond,

you drink your coffee,

pay the bill -

in a moment you'll be gone -

I wonder if you feel the same -

did I really hope you'd stay?

and then I'm glad you didn't -

because like me,

you chose this way...

~ Nan Witcomb.

Love you, love Bonez.

Math-My-Tits

Does not sound like Mathematics, Jessica.

Love you, love Bonez.

Holidays are officially over. Only 5 more days until Williamstown beach with my girls, and only 8 and a half more weeks until Summer Holidays. I miss my Spring holidays, and I miss my bestfriends. Already.

!)$%(L) says:
you act old for your age
٭ gyna "math-my-tits" says:
do i? i try not to..

eBay

You can have
money,
security
and love
taken from you -
but never experience -
~ Nan Witcomb.

Mum: "Did you order anything from eBay?"
Bonez: "What? No."
Mum: "Are you sure? Then who's pink shorts are those that came in the mail?"
Bonez: "Wha- who's shorts? Where?"
*Mum points to a package*
Bonez: "They look like male shorts. Yep, I'm sure they're male shorts."
Mum: "But they're pink."
Bonez: "Maybe dad likes pink shorts."
Mum: "...Maybe your dad's gay."

I love you to death.

I Could Say...

..."I miss you terribly."
But I'd only be lying.

(Rundle Mall, BoneZeppelin photography.)

So I just came back from Adelaide on Sunday, late-afternoon. Adelaide was actually much better than I expected. We went to parks the first day, the Church & Rundle Mall the next. And on Saturday we went to the Beachouse, the beach nearby and went on a ridiculous shopping spree both that day and the day before. On the last day (Sunday), we went to Melba's Chocolate Factory. I imagined the chocolate factory to be a little similar (well, I expected it to be) Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Except, it was more of a warehouse with tables and tables of chocolate and lollies. I got jawbreakers and bags of white chocolate raspberry bullets. Absolute favourites.

Well the things I bought were mostly secondhand books (at least 10), a David Bowie CD and an Adidas jacket. I wasn't really in much of a mood to buy clothes. I bought the jacket because I needed one. I really like it though. I'm almost broke now. Damn holidays. And I feel quite disappointed though, I feel as though I've never left.

Here's a poem from one of the secondhand books I bought,
The Thoughts Of Nanushka by Nan Witcomb:

Once I would have followed you,
begging you to let me in -
apologising for things
I'd never done,
gratefully accepting
your cold indifference
just to be near you -
I know better now -
but don't worry -
there will always be
another fool
to take my place -

I love it. I'm going to start making a habit of quoting one of her poems in each of my blogs. I have nothing better to write these days.
Love, Bonez.

From The Bottom Of My Heart

Thank you, you've done it again.

You made me smile a much bigger smile.

And despite hating to say it, I love you.

Packing

Then leaving, for the second time 'round.
Everyone's getting hitched. It's starting to bother me when it shouldn't. I'll be on my way to Adelaide in the morning.

Roaddddd tripppppp!

I'll keep you updated when I get back.