You Let Me Desecrate You

The ad gen maths test was harder than cow balls man. Thank lamb-shanks it's over.

My mum might be pregnant again. She kept asking me questions like, "What would you do if we had another baby?" or "If your dad and I had another baby, would you take care of it?"
I'd always reply with a "Lazy cow, who else would you get jiggy with?" or "I'll take care of it only if you let me name it Gandhi."
Mum's been really open about everything in the past few months, she confessed that she was unable to "get her freak on" when I was younger because there was an incident when my parents were making sweet, sweet love and I walked into the dark room asking, "Mum, dad, what are you doing?" and I crawled into space in between them, unaware of my disruption.
I'm just worried her body'll be incapable of carrying another child, she's almost 50.

I find it funny when my parents say 'sex' 'cause the whole room goes silent and awkward. They always refer to it as 'going to bed together'. And when they'd say 'sex', which might I add is on ultra rare occasions, they'd pronounce it as 'seckz'.
I've had to leave the room to laugh.

It's like primary school. When you first learn about sex ed and your teacher says 'penis' for the first time, the whole class goes crazy.

My birthday celebration's cancelled due to being misinformed about my chosen location. New laws state that if you plan on hosting a party at a public park of more than 15 people, you'd need to register with the police a few weeks/a month prior to the day. It's too late now, it's in 3 days and we'll be fined $5000 if underage drinkers are caught.

The worst is over now, and we can breathe again. I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away.