When Push Comes To Shove

Because we feel our youth slipping away from us, unaware of it, yet feeling the disconnection. What is 'youth' exactly? Is it a generalising term used to describe the space of age ranging from 14 to 19? Or is it a state of mind; both character and behaviour? Is 'youth' the key to excitement and good times?

If so, then what does that make maturity?
Why do many elders dream of the Fountain Of Youth?

Is maturity an entry point into adulthood? Is maturity used to describe privileges, responsibility and experience? Or alike youth, is maturity a state of mind or is it physical? Is maturity the tedious, monotonous stage we enter as we progress in life, increasing age by one as years pass by? Could it be possible for a 15 year old girl to be more mature then a woman who's 35 years of age if maturity was based psychologically?

Maybe I'm wrong about this. Maybe I'm immature.
I'm an adolescent, young and unsatisfied.

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Since 5pm, I've been meaning to do my history essay draft which is due this Tuesday. It's currently 9:42pm, and I'm hitting myself for putting it off. I could've finished it by now, but I'm here instead, blogging. I honestly will start it after writing this out, however a big part of me really wants to procrastinate.

I only have one class tomorrow, English, for an hour and forty minutes. The last period of the day; I made a promise to skip school every second Monday, but I know I shouldn't. My parents don't pay for me to skip school; at least I'm aware I have a conscience. Sometimes I don't know why I bother anymore. Somedays, I feel the electric urge to callously throw away everything I've worked extremely hard for, just for a piece of mind. Just for a break. Just to, for once, close my eyes and breathe.

I've decided to go to english tomorrow, and skip afternoon homegroup 'cause I need to catch the earliest train I can. I've decided to meet Michael in the city. I really do miss him.

I should organise myself better. I need massive self improvement. I need to eradicate the apathetic behaviour, lethargy and tediousness.
But... I'm all talk and no action.